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Sunday, July 27, 2025

Overhead: C'mon ... I Only Need Two, Maybe Three Minutes

Reading time: about 2 minutes

So, I got busted this week — thanks to whomever you are. And it’s true, I might have bedbugs. I wash my sheets twice a month though, I swear. Really, we just got a washer and a drier in my house, so it’s really convenient. But something keeps biting my wrists during the night. I hope they’re spiders and not bedbugs. Anyhow, keep them coming to overheard@cornellsun.com.

Loud drunk guy: Pllleasssee can we go to the stacks? Girlfriend: No, someone might catch us. Loud drunk guy: C’mon ... I only need two, maybe three minutes! Girlfriend: [Sigh]. I know. — Outside CTB

Asian Girl #1: Why this so complicated? Asian Girl #2: It’s not complicated. Maybe you’re just horny. — Cornell

Eye-Poker: [pokes girl’s eye out]: It was so wet I thought I’d put my finger in your mouth!! — North Campus frat

Girl on cell phone: I tell him everything. I told him I was going to take a dump in the bathroom. Why won’t he tell me stuff? — Uris Library

Drunk guy: Babbbbby grrll ... I’ll buy you a drank. When I get a truck. — East Seneca Street

Girl 1: You know my biggest fear? That I’ll get pregnant without having sex. Girl 2: Like ... immaculate conception? Girl 1: Yeah. If immaculate conception happened to me, NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE ME! Girl 2: That’s because you’re a slut. — Arts Quad

Dude: When I wear a pair of underwear ... because I very rarely do ... I wear them for like, four days. — RPCC

Overheard Girl: I’m so happy. Like, everything is just so perfect that I was trying really hard to figure something that was wrong or even something that could just be better. All I could think of was that I might have bedbugs. — Stewart Avenue

Flamboyant guy: [on phone]: ... THAT IS INSULTING … Really? … I would do either one of them. Well, you would just wash the sheets. NO YOU WASH THE SHEETS! — Collegetown

Friend A: Yeah, I would go for a sheep. Friend B: Yeah, a desert sheep. Friend A: What are you talking about? Friend B: Well if you think about it, a desert is an ideal climate for sheep. Friend C: What? Friend B: Yeah, think about it, there are no predators. — Outside Anabelle Taylor

Girl: You’re always doing this to me, and I never understand. I don’t get it. Guy: Well maybe that’s why you don’t get it, it’s because you don’t understand. Girl: Well maybe if I got it, I would understand. Guy: Huh? Girl: Never mind. Let’s get bubble tea. — College Ave.

Intellectual #1: Physically speaking, can openers are not that sexy. Intellectual #2: But reasonably enough, they are functional. Intellectual #3: True, true. I couldn’t have said it better. — Outside Law School


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