Editor’s Note: 4/20 content is a part of The Sun’s joke issue and contains exaggerated and factually inaccurate information.
Eye contact that seems to last for an eternity, witty impromptu conversations, impressive musical/athletic abilities and well-put together outfits. For many Cornell students, the shortest interactions can turn into feelings of deep longing and desire. However, due to unfortunate circumstances (or just plain shyness), such students often find it difficult to make their desire known to their crushes. Here, we’ve compiled a list of missed connections from students who wanted a second chance to confess their feelings.
“To the cute brunette student EMS worker who helped me get my stomach pumped, let me give you another night to remember …”
“To the beautiful blonde incoming freshman I saw touring on incoming students day, let me give you a personal tour of campus next year. I’m a senior and can you show you how to get around ;)”
“Professor J in ILR, let’s stop playing eye tag during lecture and set up an office hours appointment already.”
“Hey Touchdown, let me TOUCH that tail and go DOWN on you …”
“To Josh in Delta Tau Chi, your frat flick form is incredible. Let’s see what else those fingers can do.”
“To the girl who told me she only dates Asian guys, give me another shot — I’m at a very Chinese time in my life rn.”
“To the handsome second year archie I chatted with on Dragon Day, I wanna ride your dragon.”
“To the beautiful chimes master, I know something else we can do to wake people up in the morning.”
“To the girl who threw it back against me last Fishbowl Wednesday, that’s the most intimate experience I’ve had with anyone.”
“To the guy I accidentally walked in on in the bathroom, I was quite impressed with what I saw.”
“To the cute hotelie I went on a date with a few weeks ago, let’s plan a second. Your classes aren’t hard enough for you to be busy.”
Cu Pid is a sophomore at Cornell dedicated to wooing your girl. Learn from the best at mrstealyourgirl@cornellsun.com
4/20 content is a part of The Sun’s joke issue and contains exaggerated and factually inaccurate information.
