Playing the guitar, throwing a frisbee, wearing jorts. Are we on a movie set or an actual college campus? This question isn’t always easy to answer at Cornell.
In the second week of March, we saw about three days of extremely warm weather here on campus. On March 10, the high temperature was 78 degrees. This short period of warm weather was great. I could go outside without a jacket, walk up the slope without wind killing my face and enjoy any activity that involved the outdoors.
Most would figure that in only three days, people would simply enjoy the warmth, but wouldn’t have the time or preparation to dive into summer activities. The populace of Cornell proved me wrong by immediately taking the opportunity to behave as performatively as possible in all of the textbook ways. After all, if everyone can’t see you studying next to a tree with coffee and a blanket on the Arts Quad, does it really count?
Performative Act 1: Playing the Guitar
This is the classic. When people are gathered in a grassy quad, it seems there always needs to be someone lying in the grass, performatively playing indie music or self-written songs on the guitar. On March 9, I encountered approximately two guitarists.
The first was playing to a group of friends on the Arts Quad, but didn’t know the song and was struggling to read the lyrics on his laptop screen, so the whole vibe was really off. A very disappointing display, to be honest. If you’re going to play in a primetime location next to the A.D. White statue, you better know what you’re doing. The second was perhaps the most performative person I have ever witnessed: playing a soft song on the guitar while sitting on the edge of a bench, a notebook placed perfectly next to them with headphones and a pencil on top. I refuse to believe this college brochure-type image happened naturally.
Performative Act 2: Throwing a Frisbee in a Circle
Within a few hours of the temperature being above 60 degrees, there was a group of people on every open grass space on campus playing frisbee. In order for this to happen, these people must have essentially been waiting on the edge of their seats for a singular warm day so they could immediately shoot up and start tossing a frisbee. I can respect it, but again, just so performative. It’s surprising what people are willing to do to score a feature on the Cornell website.
Performative Act 3: Tanning
Even if it's warm out in Ithaca for the first time in a while, a low UV index of 2 is just not enough to get a tan. Spring break is coming soon, and so is the summer in general, so there will be ample opportunities for you to lay on the ground outside and do nothing. This one doesn’t agitate me in any way, but I still think it’s incredibly performative for a short, warm weekend nestled between weeks of freezing weather.
Performative Act 4: Doing Work Outside
This one does agitate me. Anybody who has ever used a laptop outside knows it’s an absolutely terrible experience. The screen is barely visible, bugs jump on it and there’s not always a stable place to put the laptop down to type. Even using a notebook or attempting to write anything while sitting on grass is simply awful. Anybody who did their work on a table outside is partially excused, but it is still not optimal for real productivity.
I am fully convinced that everyone who does this either wants to look niche and indie while they study outside, or is trying to get the true ‘college experience.’ Maximum points on this one if you have a blanket and a tote bag. Again, it was surprising how quick people were to do this after having four straight months of brutal winter.
Warm weather is clearly superior for being performative on a college campus. The key lesson to take away from this article is that if you want to be one of the most performative people at Cornell, you have to be very well prepared, because it only takes a few hours until you’re too late.
Yianni Metis is a sophomore in the Dyson School of Applied Economics and Management. He can be reached at jpm395@cornell.edu.
