It’s 5:30 p.m. on the Arts Quad and there’s a sea of men dressed in variations of the same outfit. Books read upside-down, Labubus, matcha lattes — they’re everywhere. The audience of over 500 students is abuzz with conversations about menstrual cramps and female musicians (Laufey and Clairo to be specific), and you ask yourself, “What is this?”
To the untrained eye, it could be an underground indie band’s concert, or maybe an enormous book club. To those of us up-to-date with the latest social media brain rot, though, it’s clear it can only be one thing: a Performative Male contest.
“The Performative Male” is the guy who’s strategically crafting his persona to cater to what he thinks women are attracted to. He’s the feminist, the social justice warrior we didn’t ask for. And yet, he fights for women everywhere anyway. (Well, supposedly.)
You’ll find his six-foot-one figure casually posed against a pillar on the Goldwin Smith stairs, while he’s running his fingers over a Jane Austen novel. Or maybe you’ll catch a glimpse of him admiring the most recent addition to the Johnson Museum (and wearing a shirt that says “Empower Women,” naturally). His aura is a perfect combination of Pride and Prejudice and canvas tote bags.
So obviously, the Arts Quad provided the perfect background for determining the one, true performative male on this campus.
The event was characterized by an abundance of cliché one-liners, primarily in the form of speeches and T-shirt text. One participant was wearing an “I hate cramps (6’ 2” by the way)” shirt, a pretty accurate representation of the energy needed to dominate this competition. When asked to name a woman, Yash Moitra ’27 instantly and confidently replied, “God.” Gosh, they respect us so much!
But despite the buzz from the self-declared woman-lovers, some women in the audience looked beyond the wired-headphones “feminism” — noting the irony of it all.
“I was thinking,” started Cole Tao ’28, “What if they had a Performative Woman contest? Like, we couldn’t even do that because everything that women do is seen as a performance.”
Tao went so far as to note that she believed the men were not “performing” for the women, but in fact, “other men, or street-cred as a campus celebrity.”
Jesse Pearlroth ’29, a performative man lounging on the A.D. White pedestal, bought today’s matcha from “the classic on-campus woman-owned bisexual carbon neutral matcha place.” When questioned further about the actual name of this café, he clarified that this description also happens to be the official name. Hmmm, weird. I haven’t heard of it.
Pearlroth also defended his position that his persona — who happened to be majoring in feminist literature and minoring in periods — was more than just a performance. And yet, his answer to the question of who his favorite feminist literature author was just so happened to be the same answer as almost all of the other competitors asked this question — Simone de Beauvoir.
While most men held up Jeff Buckley vinyls or twirled in their white tank tops, some participants took their time on the pedestal to warn the audience about current legislation infringing on women’s rights or to inspire the audience to mobilize on campus. It appeared that feminism was not always so performative.
Person participating in the Performative Male Contest holds various items on the Arts Quad, Sep. 3, 2025. (Stephan Menasche/Sun Assistant Photography Editor)
But despite the very real political issues touched upon, it seemed as though the biggest concern at this particular event remained an unfortunate matcha latte spill. There were screams. (Almost as loud as when one participant threw his tank top in the audience.)
I also think it’s worth mentioning some unattributed quotes overheard in the crowd. “I hope women are fully empowered every day,” was one that stuck out to me — how could it not have you mentally picturing the teary-eyed emoji. Another gem was “I won’t say I should win because I think a woman should always win.” How selfless. If only this weren’t a competition specifically designed for men. My personal favorite was in response to someone's single-use Zeus matcha cup: “metal straw, you asshole!"
The level of intention in these men’s responses was, quite frankly, impressive. When asked to play a game of “Kiss, Marry, Kill” with women, Labubus, and matcha as the options, Evan Chang ’29 responded that he would “marry women, kiss Labubus and kill matcha.” (Controversial take.) He elaborated further on these choices, explaining “women should never be hurt in any way” and also that “kissing women is a very superficial thing to do.”
I’m not entirely convinced that this competition single-handedly eliminated misogyny or eradicated the patriarchy. When asked to identify the function of a DIVA Cup, all feminist confidence was suddenly replaced with the awkward shifting of green Adidas Sambas. And there’s something to be said for the resounding, if lighthearted, “NO” shared by all women who were asked whether “these men actually care about women.”
But while Cornell’s Performative Male Contest did not destroy sexism, one thing remains true: 500+ students showed up. And underneath the sun and occasional indie guitar strums, people were talking about women and society — however sheathed in irony.
And I believe that, despite the male-centered approach and lack of women’s health knowledge amidst alleged empathy, it’s a start.
Maia Mehring is a Lifestyle co-editor on the 143rd editorial board. She is a junior in the School of Industrial and Labor Relations and can be reached at mmehring@cornellsun.com.
