Editor’s Note: 4/20 content is a part of The Sun’s joke issue and contains exaggerated and factually inaccurate information.
INSTITUTIONAL NEUTRALITY? | In a shocking turn of events, President Michael Kotlikoff was spotted at a pro-Palestinian protest, pouring Cornell’s promise of neutrality down the drain. (Psetahn Shmencea / Sun Contributor)
FOUR-YARD PLAY | The Student Assembly announced Sunday that beloved mascot Touchdown has won the position of president. (Rielka Cngman / Sun Contributor)
ILR IRL | For the first time in Cornell’s history, ILR professors have voted to join the UAW and are going on strike, effective immediately. (Temawth Ckkziyorn / Sun Contributor)
TICK, TOCK, BOOM! | Administration decided to demolish McGraw Tower yesterday, claiming that the years of construction on the landmark “were taking too long.” (Mnig Medesr / Sun Contributor)
GETTING THE BAND BACK TOGETHER | After complaints about this year’s headliners, Slope Day Programming Board has decided to change the 2025 lineup to a COIN reunion concert. (Lujia Ngale / Sun Contributor)
BIG YELLOW FOOD COURT | After a disappointing launch, Big Red Food Court is closing, and a new Yellow Deli will open in its place in Fall 2025. (Linilae Ukbre / Sun Contributor)
IVY FAMILY | After his freshman year at NYU, Barron Trump is bringing his sootcase to the Dyson school, hoping to become the first in his family to graduate from an Ivy League university other than Penn. (Hnaahn Beorgrsne / Sun Contributor)
SLOWER COMMUTES | Sad news for athletes: as a result of several near-collisions with electric scooters and pedestrians, administrators have decided to ban them from Cornell’s campus. (Cenmaro Ploklca / Sun Contributor)
