Picture this: You’re walking in the library, down the street or quite literally anywhere on campus, and you see someone you kind of know — not particularly a friend, but not a stranger either. You debate in your head whether or not you should say “hi.” As you mentally go back and forth, you end up passing each other without even making eye contact, the awkwardness looming in the air as you both say nothing. Why do we do that? Why not just say hi?
This phenomenon has happened to all of us. Of course, there is an underlying fear that they won’t remember you or don’t think you’re on the same level of acquaintanceship to say hi. This happened to me just last week as I waved to a friend of a friend who I had talked to the previous evening. When I waved, he gave me a confused and passive wave back. Though I must admit, I have definitely done the same when people I did not expect to be on a waving basis with have said hi to me.
Whether out of fear, embarrassment or just forgetfulness (in part because we can meet about 10 new people a week), we find ourselves sticking to a pattern that often doesn’t allow for waving at people who pass by. But as a result, we miss out on opportunities to build community for ourselves. You might have your friend group or a couple of people that you’re around on a regular basis, but what about the people beyond your close circle? And outside of networking, why can’t we build connections simply for the sake of connection?
As college students in the digital generation, we are so hesitant to engage in conversation with strangers. We avoid any uncomfortable interaction simply by looking down at our phones. People try to avoid awkwardness as much as humanely possible, but awkwardness is inevitable — something that we should accept in our day-to-day lives. Saying hi doesn’t have to be such an intimidating task.
I know putting yourself out there can sound daunting to some. As Cornell students, about every second of every day is scheduled to a tee, leaving very little time to hang out with even the people you’re actually close to. However, fostering more connections with others can be accomplished through simply waving to the people who live across the hall from you or sparking up a conversation with the person you sit next to in lecture every other day. In a school with around 16,000 undergraduates, you can find friendship beyond the six people you consistently hang out with.
Keeping this in mind, I have adopted a new mindset: Just say hi! More often than not, even if the other person doesn’t think to say hello first, they will appreciate you reaching out to them, even if it’s just through this small gesture. In a place where there can be so much isolation, a small wave can truly make someone’s day. This can go for anyone on campus: your TA, the residential and dining staff you see every day, the person you were forced to be in a group project with or even your situationship! Nobody is off-limits. If you feel motivated to give them a hello, just go for it.
So, I leave you with this: Say hi and don’t be afraid of any embarrassment. They may brush you off and act awkward (which you can do nothing about), or it could lay the foundations for a glorious relationship. And for bonus points: Saying hi to people in passing when walking down the street makes you look infinitely cooler. Obviously not everyone is going to be your best friend, but not everyone has to be a stranger. Do it for yourself. Just say hi!
Amina McCain is a freshman in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences. She can be reached at akm267@cornell.edu.
