Last weekend, I lived out the nightmare of every child of divorced parents: I spent a weekend with both of them together — in my college town.
Normally, my parents visit me separately. My mom drives up at the beginning and end of each semester, and my dad visited me for the first time last fall. So, as you can imagine, it came as quite a shock when they both decided to come up the same weekend.
Okay, so I may have click-baited you with the title of this piece. My parents are on relatively good terms for having been divorced for over 15 years. I recognize the fact that I had it pretty good compared to other children with divorced parents; it’s always been pretty much me and my mom, and I was never tossed between households like I know others were growing up.
The fact that they would both be sharing me for the weekend was still daunting, however. It’s normal for others to have dinner, go hiking and catch up on life with both of their parents present; this is not my reality. Now that I am a week out from this experience, I figured I would share it with others who could be grappling with similar circumstances.
On Thursday, my dad flew from Florida into Syracuse and rented a car once he arrived to drive to Ithaca. After a long day of travel, we decided it was best to meet up for dinner and call it a night afterward. He loved Thompson and Bleecker when he visited last semester, so it felt right to camp out outside the restaurant 30 minutes before they opened at 5 p.m. I have no regrets, as this decision made dining stress-free and allowed us to get excited about being seated early. I have mastered the art of planning for my parents’ arrivals and ensuring that our meals and activities are as serene as possible. Why add fuel to the fire that is a visitation from your lovely parents (who sometimes don’t realize that they make you rethink all of your life decisions while you’re already having the worst semester of your life)?
Maia Mehring / Lifestyle Editor
Dinner was perfect, as we were able to chit-chat about all of the things going on in my life and bond over our love of Thompson and Bleecker’s food (all while avoiding the long line frequently characteristic of the restaurant). Thompson and Bleecker also happens to have phenomenal service once you are seated, which was great for my schedule (no, school and obligations do not stop when your parents are here). Both of my parents were extremely understanding of the fact that I had meetings on Thursday and my sorority’s formal on Friday night.
Still, I am of the belief that it is important to prioritize them while they’re here. Both of my parents went through multiple hours of continuous travel to come, and I wanted to be with them as much as I could. In this way, not having Friday classes was truly a blessing for this weekend. Because of this convenience, we decided to have lunch together at Collegetown Bagels when my mom arrived on Friday afternoon and go hiking at Robert H. Treman State Park afterward. If little else, my parents are always able to bond over their shared love of the outdoors. This was kind of the perfect plan for my family.
It was actually really nice getting to walk around Collegetown with the both of them. My mom couldn’t wait to introduce my dad to CTB and show him where I’m living next year. My dad made us stop on every street corner to look at the hills carved into Ctown. And I was just happy that they were happy.
We all collectively enjoyed the drive to Treman Park, since the trees had just started to really bloom and the ride provided a moment away from the bustle of Cornell’s campus. Hiking along the Gorge Trail at the state park, I actually spotted a snake, which was a good source of excitement for the three of us. As crazy as it sounds, I took it as a sign that someone or something was on our side that day. My dad, who can identify every plant, animal and tree complimented my observation skills and, once again, impressed me and my mom with his knowledge of the great outdoors. It was a special little moment that reminded me that the world is so much bigger than the bubble of stress I create for myself at school.
Afterward, we drove to Taughannock Falls State Park to show my dad the falls. Though students on a field trip quickly swarmed the three of us at the overlook spot, we still had a moment to appreciate the view. This is a peaceful spot that does not require hiking if you’re looking for somewhere that is truly representative of Ithaca’s beauty. I also got the opportunity to drive my car back to campus, which was super exciting for someone who loves driving and does not have a car here!
Maia Mehring / Lifestyle Editor
For dinner, we went to another one of our favorites: Ithaca Ale House. I encouraged my mom to make the reservation on the earlier side, since my formal was later that night. Can you blame a girl for needing time to get ready? Anyway, I feel this restaurant truly has something for everyone, though I have to say that their burgers are probably the standout items on the menu. I will note, though, if you cancel your reservation within 24 hours, you will be charged a fee of 20 dollars per person plus tax, so just be wary.
The next day, we woke up to rain and decided to forgo hiking at Watkins Glen, though I highly recommend it for anyone looking for an adventure on a beautiful day. We instead drove 40 minutes to Corning, New York and opted for a museum moment. My family loved watching the experts at the Corning Museum of Glass blow glass, and the exhibits were honestly spectacular to look at. The gift shop also kept us in awe (in terms of both the products’ beauty and the insanely high prices). Corning itself is also a super cute town to frolic around, and we were able to explore a new restaurant too.
Maia Mehring / Lifestyle Editor
Later that night, we hung out at the hotel, which gave us the opportunity to reflect on all of life’s twists and turns, as well as the fact that I am now halfway through college. I was grateful for my parents’ civility, as I know it would have been such a different weekend had they not been the people that they are. Seeing them together transported me back to my four-year-old self and compelled me to think about how far we’ve come since then.
15 years ago my parents were going through, arguably, the worst moments of their lives. Now, they’re sitting across from me laughing about our hike and sharing their favorite stories of me. It hasn’t always been easy for us, and I know not every divorced family experiences this kind of peace. But for this weekend — in the midst of my own chaos — they came together and showed up for me.
Maybe that’s the hidden gift of having divorced parents visit you at the same time: you see the past and present collide — and realize you’re stronger for being able to carry both with you into whatever comes next.
Maia Mehring is a Lifestyle co-editor on the 143rd editorial board. She is a sophomore in the School of Industrial and Labor Relations and can be reached at mmehring@cornellsun.com.
