The big day is approaching. With 4/20 a couple of days away, it’s time (now more than ever) to lock in. Obviously, the day is only as good as who you’re getting high with, so today we’ll be talking about the type of people you need to be around to actually enjoy your weed.
On a normal day, I’d say just go with whoever is there, but it feels disrespectful to, on the most meaningful and historically significant day of the year.
Number of People
The greatest groups of all time, in any field, have consisted of three to seven people. The Beatles, Kris Jenner’s family and the Third Triumvirate all understood this. This rule also applies to a smoking rotation.
Smoking alone or with a friend is chill, but on 4/20 a larger group seems more appropriate. More people means more reactions to the weed, more side quests and ultimately more bullshit accomplished by the end of the night. Otherwise what's the point?
With the right amount of people, the perfect level of genius ideas are thrown around, and fulfilling the munchies is always better when the table talk can get heated.
People to Include
Not everyone who smokes weed should be in a rotation, so the choice of who you get zooted with has to be intentional. Look at Bill Clinton. The guy almost definitely lit up in the sixties, but then he got with an intern. He can play the saxophone, though.
That being said, the most important person to have is the one who’s down for anything. Whether it's going on a two hour car ride to a random location or jumping into freezing water in the winter, this rotation member can be convinced to do it within a few seconds. They make every activity flow, and hold everything together.
The next member that should always be there is the idea generator. Somebody always has to have the perfect movie to watch, the perfect place to eat, or the ideal location to go to for doing absolutely nothing. If George Washington smoked, this would have been his role and the soldiers in the painting crossing the Delaware were our first character. Considering how cold it was and their chance of actually winning that war, maybe they were high that day.
A third huge member is the deep convo guy. Every group needs someone you could go up to when you’re completely gone and you know your life will be changed, until the next morning, of course. When you’re high, this individual sounds like Plato and Dostoevsky at the same time.
People not to Include
This is just as important, and sometimes the harder one to pull off. If someone comes up to you and asks to smoke, you may feel awkward telling them that you don’t want to have a horrible night on one of the most important days of the year. They may offer to buy the product, which could be tempting.
However, I must urge you not to fall into the trap, although tempting you will suffer the same fate as Plankton, hanging out with a robot as people consume a better product than you with real members of society.
Possibly the most annoying person to smoke with is the one who is always worried about whether they are high. Counting up milligram amounts, hits, time since smoking and whatever other nonsense. They can never talk about anything else, and never actually feel any high because rather than just take more, they debate for hours with themselves, and for some reason everyone else, about how much they took.
I can guarantee you Hendrix had no idea exactly how much weed he had smoked before getting on the stage at Woodstock.Yet, his performance is still remembered to this day.
A quick note about people who don’t get high with the group and try to be the “responsible” one, keeping people from doing mildly stupid actions: they’re the worst and should never be invited.
Formation
This may seem strange, but the way the group is situated makes all the difference. There’s the classic circle, or the horizontal couch lineup, or no structure at all. In terms of a large group during 4/20, the classical circle has to be the best option.
The knights sat at a round table for a reason. When the Avengers assembled, they did it in a circle. In much the same matter, for optimal performance a circle is ideal.
This way the joint also gets passed around more efficiently. Conversation flows seamlessly and no one gets too locked out. Of course, in an ideal situation, one or two people have broken away from the circle at certain points to engage in chicanery.
A day of great importance approaches. To make the most of it, you’ll need an elite group that has a plethora of dumbass ideas. The people are out there, but you must find them and bring them together, because a good high is worth it.
Paul Allen can be reached at paul.allen@cornellsun.com.
