There’s really nothing that will prepare you for all you will feel—and have to deal with—while settling into your foreign home. I present those going abroad next fall with five things to keep in mind as you pack your life in two bags and cross the pond.

I arrived in Sevilla dazed and confused. But this incredible Mediteranean city, with its Andalucian culture intact, delectable frybread and zest for the “good life,” quickly became my favorite place I’ve been.

I feel like I constantly hear the phrase, “That WOULD happen to you” from my most intimate friends. Is it my generally naïve demeanor, or am I just a magnet for quasi-unfortunate events? I like to think that it is neither of these things and that I have been chosen to serve honorably as an example to my luckier counterparts, a how-to manual in reverse, if you will. Here are the best of my failures while traveling abroad.

Swissness is a word usually used to describe what makes the average Swiss citizen tick. It may be what motivates lawn care workers to climb into each tree at the end of the fall to remove all the remaining leaves. It could also be what drives the police to search through garbage to track down those who dared to throw out a plastic bottle (don’t even try to jaywalk here). My favorite stereotype, and perhaps most contradictory, is that of the Swiss military.