Turning out the lights in Rockefeller Hall every night could save the University an estimated $3,200 over the course of a year. By turning off the light switches in 20 buildings across campus, Cornell could save over $60,000 per year. These findings — the results of a study conducted by a student committee that collected data on energy usage in Rockefeller Hall over a week-long period — have many important implications that cannot be overlooked as the University struggles to make ends meet in the face of a massive budgetary shortfall.

You know, the other day it dawned on me that I am an awkward turtle to the n-th degree.

Now, I know, I know, you’re all saying to yourselves, “But Cristina, you are très cool. You’re column is genius; your witticisms, witty; your flair, flair-like.”

Indeed, this is all true. But while I sound good on paper, in reality, the length of this column is about the length of my response to someone in casual conversation. In other words, I talk too flipping much.

When asked a simple yes or no question — “Do you believe in evolution?” — then presidential-hopeful Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz) responded with anything but his famed “straight talk”: “I believe in evolution,” he said, “But I also believe, when I hike the Grand Canyon and see it at sunset, that the hand of God is there also.”

In February, The New York Times published a piece entitled “In Tough Times, the Humanities Must Justify Their Worth,” pointing to the declining numbers of humanities majors amidst their ever-more difficult marketability in today’s economy. With a much more steady demand for graduates in “technical” fields such as engineering or healthcare, the examination of “what it means to be a human being” is now “a great luxury many cannot afford.”

But are humanities so unmarketable?

I will leave it to readers to reference the source of this quotation. Hint: It was spoken by a world-famous leader when he got a cool reception in his old home town. “A prophet is not without honor,” he said, “save in his own land.”

Barack Obama can relate. The President has made great progress in repairing America’s international reputation by engaging in much-needed diplomacy with Russia, China and the Arab/Muslim world only to be dismissed as a do-nothing, dud of a president by his fellow countrymen.

Harvey Weinstein, a titan of the silver screen, the man behind many of the greatest films of the last decade, convincingly stated, “Hollywood has the best moral compass.” Come again, Harvey? Celebrities might protest the Iraq war with their Oscar speeches; they might dedicate time to charitable causes and maybe every single member of the Screen Actors Guild drives a Prius and eats organically grown legumes for lunch, but that definitely does not make Mel Gibson my Mother Theresa. Case and point: Hollywood’s reaction to the arrest of longtime fugitive and film director Roman Polanski.

As students headed home for Fall Break last Thursday night, the University boasted some good news: By centralizing the process of buying goods and services, Cornell could save up to $40 million annually. We are pleased that the administration has found the means to cut $40 million from the procurement budget, but the University must take further steps to maintain that these cuts do not affect academic spending.

Congratulations — you did it. You got that guy or girl of your dreams to agree to come back to your place and sleep with you. Lucky, lucky. However, there is etiquette that one must adhere to when participating in a one night stand — one night standiquette, if you will. It will help you avoid making the awkward pre-walk of shame morning-breath goodbye kiss any more awkward (assuming that your partner was kind enough to stay the night).

Who decided that titty-fucking was cool? Did Sinatra used to finish his lowball of whiskey just to take home that dame across the bar for some good ol’ slipping and sliding between a pair of tig ol’ biddies? Initial research (i.e. I did not in any way attempt to research this) has been inconclusive as to Sinatra’s inter-mammary predilections, but this I do know: Everything about titty-fucking is just plain wrong — from its name, to the act itself, to the Google Images result when I type in the term (well, actually, the search results are pretty good).

The Nobel Committee’s decision to award President Obama the Nobel Peace Prize calls into question the purpose of this prestigious award. If the prize serves to recognize concrete action and tangible efforts towards peace, the committee failed to adhere to these measures. Yet, if the committee sought to praise intent and catalyze future action, their decision was dead on.