Law school final exams start a week earlier than the rest of the University’s, so, as you read this, I’m likely either taking my Trusts and Estates exam or furiously preparing for my Federal Courts one. As a result, this column, my last one, is going to be short and sweet.

Graduating Sun columnists’ swan songs generally contain two traditional elements: one relatively mandatory, and one technically frowned upon.

The mandatory tradition: explaining your column’s moniker.

The illicit one: thanking every single person you met during your time on The Hill.

About a year and a half ago, on Nov. 27, 2007, I wrote a column entitled “This Space is for Rent,” pleading with Cornell to help revitalize Collegetown and explaining that Harvard had just helped a new business to open in the area near its Cambridge campus. I said that the new Harvard business was reminiscent of exactly what Collegetown needed.

The description of the new establishment in Cambridge was as follows: “The store … will serve deli sandwiches with a seating area, … high-end grocery items, … and convenience items, like 7-11. [The store] will also have a produce section, a salad bar and a large prepared-food buffet section, similar to Whole Foods.”

Last Wednesday, our esteemed alumna Ann Coulter ’84 posted an article on her website blasting her co-alumnus Keith Olbermann ’79. This, the latest in her many irrational tirades, was in response to Olbermann calling out Rush Limbaugh for a mistake Limbaugh made during a speech at the CPAC conference two weekends ago (confusing the Declaration of Independence with the Constitution).

In the course of trying to take down Olbermann, however, she inexplicably set out to destroy the reputation of six of the seven undergraduate schools and colleges at Cornell. Thankfully, the ridiculousness of her claims seems to have made this attempt unsuccessful.

On April 28, 2005, eight Cornell students occupied then-President Jeffrey S. Lehman’s ’77 office in Day Hall, protesting the construction of a parking lot in the so-called Redbud Woods area off West Campus.

Last week, dozens of student members of an organization called Take Back NYU! (and their supporters) occupied a dining hall inside New York University’s Kimmel Center demanding several things — most prominently additional transparency in NYU’s administration and endowment.

At first glance, I think most would agree that the NYU students engaged in the more meaningful protest of the two.

But if you look closer, you’ll know that the Day Hall occupation by the “Redbud Eight” was much more successful and will likely have a more prominent and long-lasting effect.

Spring arrives on Saturday. Yes, I know the groundhog saw its shadow, and yes, I know that technically the vernal equinox isn’t until March 20th. But, for me, Spring starts on Saturday. Because on Saturday, Mets pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training.

Despite my excited anticipation for the upcoming season, there’s one thing about it that’s been driving me crazy: the politics surrounding the naming of the Mets’ new stadium: Citi Field.

Since the fall, politicians like Rep. Dennis Kucinich (R-Ohio) and Rep. Ted Poe (R-Texas) have been making waves, complaining that the $400 million naming rights deal that Citi signed with the Mets in 2006 is irresponsible in light of Citi’s recent acceptance of bailout money from the government.

This week, after six-and-a-half years at Cornell, I finally enrolled in HADM 4430: Introduction to Wines — it was my last shot to take the course.

And, while sitting in Statler Auditorium during the first class, I got to thinking about the “161 Things Every Cornellian Should Do” list that we published in The Sun almost four years ago now, on Feb. 28, 2005.

After class, I went back to the list to see how much of it I had actually accomplished during my six-plus years on the Hill. The verdict: not nearly enough. Below is a list of the things I have actually completed, along with some commentary:

3. Camp out overnight for hockey tickets.

I have had hockey tickets all seven years, but I only had to camp out four times for them.

On Tuesday, someone installed a sea monster outside my apartment building.

Yes, you read that right — a sea monster.

Over the last couple of weeks, construction crews built what can only be described now as an octagon-shaped concrete nest for the large metal creature that was, as I said above, installed on Tuesday.

Well, come to think of it, maybe it’s not a sea monster. Maybe it’s just a large fish.

Could be a barracuda.

Should we name it? What could we name it?

Let’s name it Sarah. Sarah Barracuda — in honor of our long lost vice presidential candidate.

Welcome to the neighborhood, Sarah.

Now go away.

* * *

I had a couple of other column ideas for this week, but I came across a column in Friday’s Yale Daily News by a Yale senior named Elizabeth Moore (entitled “You made a big mistake, America”), which, in the context of the mostly feel-good nature of American politics last week, was too astonishing to ignore.

It’s not that she doesn’t have the right to say and believe what she wants; she certainly does. It’s just that if what she says is completely ridiculous, we all (Democrats and Republicans) have the right to point and laugh at it.

I’m no political columnist, but below are excerpts of the column with some comments interjected.

“Thank you, America, for making the biggest mistake of your life.”

Journalists make mistakes sometimes. Especially college journalists. It’s for that reason that newspapers generally run corrections — and The Sun certainly ran its fair share when I was the managing editor.

But, sometimes a correction really just isn’t good enough. And it’s at those times that we, as consumers of the news, have to hope that the news organization in question learns its lesson and moves forward in a more responsible and intelligent manner.

For WVBR, Wednesday Oct. 8 was one of those times.

***

If you go to the WVBR website, go to the “News/Sports” drop down menu, and click on “WVBR NewsLine” you’ll be presented with a couple of recent stories and a list of older stories at the bottom of the page.

Ow!

What the hell?

Ow! Seriously — what’s going on here?

Ow! Jeez! Are you pulling out my seats? Ripping out my home run wall too? And my bathrooms? You’re gutting my bathrooms?

Really? So soon? The last game was a week ago YESTERDAY! The end of the season hasn’t even sunk in yet, and you’re pulling me apart? Just like that? Ripping me limb from limb?

Sigh. Alas, such is life for the “other” stadium in New York, I suppose.

I’m not long for this world, but everyone’ll miss me when I’m gone. I’m positive of that.