This is my third and final column about the high risk, high yield option of wearing a sports-themed costume for Halloween. I hope that my ideas have served you well over the years, at least to entertain if not on a practical level.

However, after general looks at basketball and baseball’s costume potential, I thought it would be fitting to end this column’s Halloween run by focusing on a particularly divisive figure in the sports world — a man who has been the source of so much pain for me, especially around this time of year: Alex Rodriguez.

Until this year, Rodriguez had suffered from his own personal Curse of the A-Rod, never making it to the World Series despite his high production and steadily increasing salary. This weekend — guy or girl, sports fan or not — your costume could be meaningful and hilarious; it could be a window into the many faces and / or many women of Alex Rodriguez.

The Man:

The Breakup with Seattle:

Fresh-faced and oozing with potential with his first major league club, A-Rod instigated his curse by leaving the Mariners in 2000 after four years in exchange for a ridiculous amount of money, thereby alienating the entire city of Seattle. My roommate, born and bred a Mariners fan, can sum up the emotions of the city toward Rodriguez with one very angry grunt.

Seattleites are the original A-Rod haters. The Mariners haven’t been a contender since Rodriguez left.

For this version of Major League Baseball’s golden boy, in addition to a makeshift Mariners jersey with No. 3 (the number he wore his entire career until joining the Yankees), your prop can be a contract with many, many zeros on it. Carry around Monopoly money and toss it to your friends — you’re A-Rod, you don’t need that chump change now that you’ve got Scott Boras getting you the big bucks.

A-Rod on ‘Roids:

The pressure to perform got to Rodriguez in Texas, where he secretly tested positive for use of anabolic steroids in 2003. For this costume to be immediately recognizable, you’ve got to be busting out of your Rangers No. 3 jersey, so pad your biceps or get some fake muscle arms — make it over the top. A syringe can be useful, as well: Either attach it to your butt (your glutes, since we should be anatomically correct here) with tape or carry it around and use it as a prop. To complete the look, stay in character all night and be a little belligerent — just try not to stab somebody in the eye with your syringe.

Yankees Part 1:

He finally got to put on the pinstripes, but at what cost? Now unlucky No. 13, this version of A-Rod took tons of media heat after his steroid use was discovered years after the fact. This Halloween, walk a mile (that is, the distance to the bars) in A-Rod’s shoes and carry your own personal spotlight with you. I would go with lightweight mini flashlights, or just make sure that you sweat so much that your skin and the pinstripes are glistening. This costume is not for the faint of heart.

Yankees Part 2:

This year, A-Rod finally woke up in October. If you’re a Yankees fan, be optimistic and wear a 2009 World Champions sign along with your No. 13 Yankee jersey. If you’re a hater, which is completely understandable in A-Rod’s case, your sign can read “Better Luck Next Time (If There Is One).”

The Women:

The Home-wrecker:

The blonde stripper with Scores Las Vegas who was photographed with Rodriguez at a Toronto strip club in May 2007. Just over a year later, Cynthia Rodriguez filed for divorce citing A-Rod’s “emotional abandonment” and “extra marital affairs and other marital misconduct” as reasons for the split.

It’s Halloween, the only night girls are allowed to dress like skanks, so the construction of this costume does not take much imagination. If you were planning on being a stripper anyway, just add on some A-Rod specific details (a Yankees cap, etc.) and you can call yourself a stripper with a cause: home-wrecking.

Madonna:

Though they denied it, Madonna was A-Rod’s celebrity crush (and vice versa, due to Madge’s simultaneous problems with her own husband). The experienced older woman drew Rodriguez in with her wily ways and spiritual devotion.

With Madonna being a walking, talking caricature at times, it shouldn’t be hard to make a costume for this pop star: bright blonde hair, some kind of leotard and some Kabbalah materials. After all, it was Madonna’s mystical side that hooked A-Rod.

Kate Hudson:

Obviously, Rodriguez has a specific type — A-Rod’s latest love is another popular blonde, though this one reportedly wants to have a baby with the ball player. Sure, Kate, commitment is definitely one of A-Rod’s fortes.

You have a few options here. You can go the cinematic route, dressing up as one of Hudson’s movie roles: Though since her characters don’t usually have a signature look beside Hudson’s bubbly self, you might have to go back to her turn as Penny Lane in Almost Famous to find a good costume.

Or you can go the reality route: jeans, sunglasses and an A-Rod jersey. Lucky Kate, she hasn’t faced the Jessica Simpson situation of being called a curse for her man’s team — at least, she hasn’t faced that situation yet.

For the last time, Happy Hauntings!