And thus it is said, “that I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his suffering.”

And on this day, all shall feel the good grace of the AP and Coaches poll voters, and the blessings of that man whom He hath ordained, Bo Schembechler, and all fans of the holy dominion of the Big Ten shall embrace the resurrection.

For on this day, Michigan Football hath risen again.

For in truth, there was a time in which Buckeye and Wolverine stood at odds, fists clenched in animosity, a bitter hatred between natural enemies. Yet hear me brothers and sisters of the Big Ten! For on this day, I say fight no more! For while your blood-soaked rivalry raged, a new, common enemy, hath stolen your rightful place over college football.

For years ago, a son of the Big Ten and the great Schembechler, praised be He, having left from your ranks, took up sword as a traitor in the swampy midst of the demon-offspring SEC, imposing a greater evil than we hath ever seen- the spread offense.

Yet, be not Les Miles, a once proud man of Ann Arbor, who is to blame, for the spread offense devil was not his evil creation. Did Nick Saban not score 47 points on ye brethren, the Fighting Illini, in the 2002 Sugar Bowl? Has not Urban Meyer for years embarrassed the Big Ten with his three receiver sets and running quarterback?

But, on this day, hear me oh ye brethren of the nation’s oldest, and proudest, football conference! For last year did arrive a champion of the Big East. As with all men he has his faults; yes, our proud Blue finished with the worst record in school history, and yes, he failed to secure the services of Terrelle Pryor, the Second Coming of Pat White and Vince Young in one body. But despite these imperfections, he brings a great gift- for he has pioneered the formation of our common enemy, the spread offense.

Fear not congregation! Do not cower in fear! Rich Rod has brought not witchcraft and tricks of the devil to curse our holy Ann Arbor. He has in fact brought a great lesson to our conference, a lesson that transcends time.

We fans of Big Ten football hold true to our traditions and our history. They are the shining beacon, the embodiment, of our greatness. Yet, as the Prophet Rich Rod has taught, honoring those traditions does not mean forgoing progress and innovation. Embracing modernity, embracing the change we feel- but oh for years have we tried to ignore!- is in fact the key to honoring our traditions and history. For to embrace the spread option offense is to rise again to victory, and not only be competitive with the SEC and Pac-10, but to once again dominate!

And thus it shall be, that on Saturdays you shall not run halfback sweeps and predictable two-back formations, and thus it shall be, that if Tate Forcier sees the outside blitz and the safeties split wide, he shall run the QB option up the middle for the first down.

And on this day, with our brethren the Nittany Lions ranked #5, the Buckeyes #13, and our holy Wolverines #23, we must rejoice and embrace progress and the diversification of our playbooks. For in truth, the Michigan-Ohio State rivalry has persisted throughout time, and shall forever be a foundation of college football; but may we never forget the bonds we share as Big Ten brethren, and our common goal in reestablishing conference supremacy- a goal that appears but just over the horizon.

May we rise and say- Go Blue.