We’ve been through it all — we’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve broken ribs. We’ve cut our hair, we’ve gone to Taco Bell, and we’ve #livetweeted like there’s no tomorrow. Now we’ve almost reached the end of another Big Red year and survived the treacherous hold of the quarterlife crisis. However, as I prepare to graduate from this absolutely sexy campus and leave my existential predicament behind, I find that I am in a quarterlife crisis about having to say goodbye to the Quarterlife Crisis. #meta.

While my weekly ramblings have allowed me to cope with my senior year psychosis (hopefully providing you with entertainment along the way), I’m in no less of an existential funk today than I was at the start of the semester. Goodbyes are not my forté, and I don’t think that anything can really prepare me to say farewell to the Cornell lifestyle without causing a whirlwind of emotions. Remind me that graduation is in less than a month and I may burst into hysterics, gaze hopefully into the future and/or grind all up on you. Approach at your own risk.

In an attempt to tame the quarterlife beast once and for all, I’ve turned to the Qi-centering art form of the haiku. Beautifully balanced, perfectly Zen and delicately minimalist, haikus are the literary equivalent of meditation, bringing serenity to all those who read them. In turn, I present a collection of haikus relating to life, love and Cornell. Translating my trouble into tranquility, I say farewell to my beautiful readers with these syllable-stacking mini-masterpieces. Stay safe. Stay sexy. Quarterlife crisis out.

existentialism

graduating now

big red, senior, all over

quarterlife crisis

a semester in review

ithaca haircut

BASE, bruised ribs, duff ball, twitter

thank you for reading

Country Grammar

nelly on the slope

we may not remember it

let me see your grill

Researching Hip-Hop

jonah walter ben

tim becca dylan bonna

steve pond forever

Living Hip-Hop

up in the ghetto

awoken by a drive by

crack sold on corner

MURDA

tia monet queen

intramural volleyball

lemme sign ya boobs

Truth

this is why I’m hot

this is why I’m hot a huh

this is why I’m hot

Last Night

level b fishbowl

rulloff’s, dino’s, dunbar’s tour

palms o’clock dance floor

Lunch

garlic toasted cheese

better than the terrace line

cascadeli bliss

Late Night Snack

making mac and cheese

too much milk added to sauce

eating mac and milk

Friend Zone

formal, wine tour, crush

sororities invite me

why am I single?

#TFM

greek life is over

no more frat castle antics

forever a bro

Commencement

Giuliani speaks

should have been Nicki Minaj

boring commencement

let the music play

lupe, M.I.A.

kid cudi, phoenix, mash bros

CCC redeemed

DNK

editor with bangs

forget the oxford comma

newspaper all star

Hunger

Collegetown bagels

breakfast, lunch, dinner, late night

CTB is life

New Friends

cornell daily sun

bridge the gap with the other

slope media group

Wishful Thinking

beyonce is back

lady gaga is back too

ke$ha will be gone

Grace Epstein

one sixty one things

make it one sixty two things

get a vajazzle

the end

keep it sexy fresh

always pregame the pregame

thanks for everything

Milos Balac is a senior in the College of Arts and Sciences. He may be reached at mb695@cornell.edu. The Quarterlife Crisis appears alternate Thursdays this semester.