Hey, it’s Hump Day. We, the Sun columnists and editors, are mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. That means we get to KVETCH!

Spinning Plates

Hey Okenshields, would it kill you to give us bigger plates? I can barely fit a slice of bread on one of those things. It would be fine as long as you provided us with trays to put all the tiny plates on, but no, you had to take those away too. Is this some kind of psychological experiment to get us to eat less food? Because it’s not going to work. All it does is make me angrier. I’ll go up for eighths and ninths if I have to, and give Happy Dave the ol’ stare-down while I’m doing it. — C.B.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I have five midterms this week, I just got a parking ticket for illegally parking outside my temporary home (Mann Library), I’m currently wearing a t-shirt with a Christmas tree on it from last year’s “Not-So-Secret-XXXmas-Party” and I still don’t know where the “X” on my right hand came from. Seriously Cornell, just let me live my life.  — A.K.B.

Burrito Bullshit

I hate how the quality of Ivy Room spinners has deteriorated in the last year. The spinner-makers, particularly in the middle of the day, seem to delight in blatantly disregarding my preferences to forego sour cream in my crunchy Taco Bell-imitating goodness. Also, since when do the crumbled tortilla chips not come standard? Why do you do this to me, Ivy Room? — K.C.

Jimmy McMillan

The rent is too damn high! — M.S.

Walk it Out

To the mob of people who get on the bus at Risley at hop off at Goldwin Smith and make everyone wait while you get on — just walk. — B.K.

Background Checker

Professors, I appreciate your posting slides on Blackboard for us to look through. Could it be possible to have them on white backgrounds though? My printer is dying from all my black slides today. And I can’t read a thing. Save the planet. Save my eyes. And make my prelim studying saner. — F.U.

Gipsters

Seriously, the Giants? First Cody “I-look-like-a-redneck-elf” Ross hits like 50 homeruns in a game. Then the kid from Dazed and Confused beats Doctober in the Illadelph. And now you at insult to injury by busting out Zooey Deschanel to sing, “God Bless America” during Game 3 of the NLCS. Are you kittin’ me? For one thing, baseball and hipsters don’t mix. You don’t see Barry Bonds crash a Animal Collective concert or Derek Jeter creep around Williamsburg wearing a skinny jeans and coonskin cap. What’s next? Grizzly Bear shaggin’ fly-balls before Game 4? A bunch of dudes with ironic mustaches leading the crowd in “Take Me Out to the Ball Game?” Giants fans drinking exclusively Pabst? I hate the San Francisco. — T.M.