For the love of green, this has been one wild week down at the bat cave. With Earth Day and 4/20 back to back, we’re HEROICALLY burnt out ... not to mention blazed up. Now let’s go to Green Cafe.

We praise the HEROIC Libertarians who were out there in the cold rain for the love of green. We’re pretty sure that’s why the HEROIC Bill Nye ’77 was in town. The HEROIC bow ties are all just for show. We know back in his days on the Hill, Nye sported the dreadlocks and tie dye.

Speaking of dreadlocks ... the HEROIC Asa Craig ’11 was elected as a trustee this week — with the little-known stipulation that he grow out his HEROIC dreadlocks again. I guess the white flag fooled us all.

Come to think of it, this week really was all about the HEROIC hippie. John Cleese came to town to talk about a plethora of trippy topics, including ESP and astrological musings. Whoa dude, we, like, toooootally feel that.

But “I love college.” So said a wise, wise man.

Cmail. What do we think of Cmail? We won’t fall into your VILLAINOUS trap, you SUPER VILLAINS at the Cornell Press Office. You think we'll fall for this alleged “Cmail” but we know this is all just a VILLAINOUSLY clever way to make it easier to continue to read our e-mails. And Simeon, that thing we sent out to the staff about your mother, we knew you were going to see it all along.

Cornell was on the receiving end of hotelier Leona Helmsley’s multi-billion dollar estate. A HEROIC $2 million of the estate will endow a scholarship at the VILLAINOUS Hotel School — that’s right — the Hotel School. Because in a recession what we all really need is people who can cook and throw HEROICALLY lavish parties. And unfortunately for us, these new funds will have no effect on the The Statler’s VILLANOUSLY high room rates.

They say it ain’t over until the fat lady sings — or, in our case, the sexy, albeit scantilly clad, sex-kittens — a.k.a. the Pussycat Dolls — sing (as if everyone is watching the Pussycat Dolls for their singing). But sitting half-drunk in a dark corner of the bat cave makes us really wish she’d start that HEROIC song already!