With George W. Bush skipping town and Colin Powell divorcing the GOP, the Republican Party has been searching desperately for a new romance.

Jealous that the Democrats found their soul-mate in Barack Obama, the heartbroken Party tried to rekindle an old flame with John McCain, but it seemed the age difference was just too large.

Discouraged but not defeated, Republicans took a chance with Sarah Palin. The affair fizzled, however, when the party realized that there is much less to Palin than meets the eye.

Their next hope came in the form of Bobby Jindal — the kind of clean-cut young man any forefather would approve of. But after his blundered performance following Obama’s address to Congress last month, it seems the Louisiana Governor is destined to remain permanently in the friend zone.

Maybe it was desperation — or maybe Bush destroyed the GOP’s self-esteem — but at the 2009 Conservative Political Action Conference, the Republican Party fell for Keynote Speaker Rush Limbaugh. Who could resist an ultra-conservative radio talk-show host who looks and acts as if he stared into the sun too long?

The speech, which reiterated Limbaugh’s wish for Obama to “fail,” inspired fellow Republican commentator Sean Hannity to declare him “the most articulate voice of Reagan Conservatism in the country.”

Is that a compliment or self-deprecation?

In any case, Limbaugh fever spread across America, even making its way to the White House where Obama stated, “We can’t let people like Rush Limbaugh stall this economic stimulus bill, that’s how things don’t get done in this town.”

Fox News has even been calling Limbaugh, “Obama’s Public Enemy #1.”

I guess that makes Sean Hannity Flava Flav?

Limbaugh has embraced his new role as de facto leader of the Republican Party with great enthusiasm. However, it doesn’t look as if there will be a Cinderella Story for Limbaugh. Conservative pundit David Frum explains, “If you’re a talk-radio host and you have five million who listen and there are 50 million who hate you, you make a nice living. If you’re the Republican Party, you’re marginalized.”

Why do so many people hate Rush Limbaugh?

Well, it probably has something to do with the bile he spews on his daily talk show, including — but by no means limited to — the following:

• “They’re [African Americans] 12 percent of the population. Who the hell cares?”

• “I’m not saying we should bring [slavery] back; I’m just saying it had its merits. For one thing, the streets were safer after dark,” and

• “We are being told that we have to bend over, grab our ankles […] because [Obama’s] father is black, because this is the first black president.”

I wish I could say he’s off his meds, but somehow I doubt it.

As for his lack of female support, he has wondered aloud many times why the “babes” (his term) think he’s a sexist swine.

It’s probably because of statements such as, “feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream,” and “women were doing quite well in this country before feminism came along.”

Plus, it doesn’t help that he talks like a pubescent Porky Pig with a (mildly) successful speech coach.

So why has Limbaugh become the premier suitor to the Republican throne?

Three reasons: (1) He commands a homogenous army of sour, milk-white men (the bread and butter of the Republican Party), (2) Jindal and Palin are hopeless and (3) he is a relentless bully who intimidates the GOP.

Last week, for instance, Republican National Committee Chair Michael Steele called Limbaugh “an entertainer” with “ugly” and “incendiary” messages. For a moment Steele almost had me fooled into believing he has principles. The next day, after a tirade of pressure from the usual GOP suspects and a blasting on Limbaugh’s radio show, he retracted his statement. “I have enormous respect for Rush Limbaugh,” he insisted. “There is no attempt on my part to diminish his voice or his leadership.” Too bad.

Not all Republicans are willing to grovel, however. Republican Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina has pleaded with Obama to “stop talking about Rush Limbaugh at the White House — work with us to solve housing and banking.”

Unfortunately, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel has joined Hannity in calling Limbaugh the “voice and the intellectual force and energy behind the Republican Party” in a thinly veiled attempt to alienate moderate conservatives and implode the GOP.

Obama overcame extraordinary odds to become President, and this failing economy poses a new set of similarly daunting challenges. I can sympathize with him for choosing to slap back at Limbaugh. But this is a dangerous time to get distracted.

At the best of times, the Democrats and the Republicans provide healthy competition for one another — a Balance of Terror of sorts. But without (gasp!) smart Republican leaders to effectively challenge the Democratic ideas, Republicans — and by extension the American people — stand to suffer greatly.

The Democrats need to stop trying to set the GOP up with Rush Limbaugh. They have Obama. They should want the Republicans to be happy, too.

And the Republicans need to dump Limbaugh ASAP. I mean, there are other fish in the sea, right?