Oy Vey

I know Mann Library is a wet dream of architecture and design nerds everywhere, but who decided that the stairs should be so thin? They’re big enough for approximately 1.3 people, or maybe two crackheads. And when I’m trying to find a study spot at 2 a.m., the last thing I want is to have to awkwardly squeeze past another crackhead.

— KW

Moan

To the person who has my Vineyard Vines box, seriously, it's time to let me pick it up. Sure, it was my fault that I typed in the wrong number on the address, and it was nice of you to send the message saying that you got the box, but I would really like my sweaters now. I’m pretty sure you are not a women’s medium, so kindly stop ignoring my my messages, and let me pick up my box, because it’s gosh darn cold and I want my effing cashmere. Seriously.

— LK

Ugh

It’s my senior year, and I’m still 20. Being underage sucks a lot. Junior year I watched as all of my friends got their licenses to drink, slammed back a few vodka shots and then headed off to grind on the nearest hottie at Level B while I sat at home twiddling my thumbs. I'm glad Trivia Night means more to you than our friendship, guyyyyyys. Also, I can't take Wines because it conflicts with my thesis class, so there is no way I can legally drink in a public place before April 5th. I guess I'll just have to keep on sneaking drinks at Sun Bar Tabs ...

— CYZ

Yikes

Wegmans is a utopia — a little oasis amidst the icy Ithaca backdrop where, when you’re there, all your problems just drift away. Every time I step foot in the supermarket, which is about 5 times a week, I delight in the aisles and aisles of food waiting to be eaten. But recently, I’ve noticed what I once thought was impossible — a problem with Wegmans. Simply put, the soup selection sucks. Every soup is either too thick, too thin or gone. The chicken soup is too salty. The corn chowder is too creamy. The chili is too greasy. Wegmans: Hold your soup counter to higher standards!

— BHE

Come On

In America, the laws of traffic dictate that you drive, bike, scooter, segue and WALK on the right side of the road. So why do tons of you Forrest Gump-wannabes get in my way by walking on your left?!

I’m awkward enough as it is without having to do several synchronized sidesteps befoe I can get around you and be on my way. Not all of you are from Singapore and Pakistan, where they walk on the right. Figure this out.

— RBW

O, Man

Apple’s Automator was supposed to be the best thing since sliced bread, but in fact, it hardly works! Combine that with the fact that both Quark and the crappy shell script I’m working with are slow as hell means that Automator is far from automatic.

— JE