Editorial
Berry Patch: The Bangalore Daily Sun
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“If an online newspaper in Pasadena, Calif., can outsource coverage to India, I wonder how long can it be before some guy in Bangalore is writing my column about President Obama.”
— Maureen Dowd, “A Penny for My Thoughts?” The New York Times, Nov. 30.
The newspaper “industry” (Hah! Industry?) is facing impending doom. The economy sucks. Despite the extensive, flesh-eating “Holiday Gift Guide,” this newspaper is losing solvency fast. So in the ultimate wet dream for the Cornell Press Relations Office, which would like to keep student reporters as far away as possible, The Sun has decided to relocate its operations to Bangalore, India. With Cornell missions in Qatar, China, India, and probably half the other territories recognized by the United Nations, reporting campus news from India isn’t really so out of the ordinary. We’ll still cover all the same Cornell news, sports and opinion, just with ... an international perspective. We here at the Berry Patch are giving you an exclusive sneak peek at what the world will look like under our new, improved, campus rag:
• Robbed of our ability to actually check facts, we’ll have to report everything the Press Office tells us.
• Even though the Indian staff speaks far better English than we do, the Eclipse weekend edition will be converted to Kannada.
• Those sports supplements will be replaced with a weekly 20-page special section about the latest Tata donation.
• The long-suffering Cornell Cricket Club will finally get regular, sports section coverage.
• Longtime hippie production manager John Schroeder ’74 will realize his life-long dream of studying with the Maharishi Yogi, the Beatles’ old guru.
• We’ll start covering Schwartz Center actors like Bollywood stars.
• When our team of robotic webcams breaks down, making it impossible for the reporters to view campus, tech support will be right next door.