Last year around this time I wrote about the stigma surrounding the armpit. This year, I would like to welcome the class of 2012 by writing about something that might be worse than the armpit: The Long Islander.

Before this gets too heated, I would like to employ a brilliant distinction between generalizations and stereotypes, described by Gabriel Arana in his article “The Anti Frat-Defamation League” from Oct. 4, 2007:

“Generalizations are necessary for identifying population-wide trends…Stereotypes, on the other hand, take generalizations — informed or not — and bring them to bear on an individual, assuming that the generalization is deterministic.”

The Long Islander: drawing by Katie Davis

The towns referred to at Cornell as “Long Island” tend to refer to towns with large Jewish populations, and tend to be located on the North Shore of Long Island. Like the town I’m from, Great Neck. One by no means must be Jewish to be categorized under this title, or even from Long Island. But if you’ve been on this, or another campus, across the country, I think you’ll agree that there is a certain way of being we refer to when we say “Long Island.” It’s just that as far as I know, this stereotype has never been deconstructed. “Long Island”ness is so ubiquitous that we never stop to think what exactly we are talking about.

So, let’s study the idea of Long Island that we all seem to have. Don’t just take my opinion, however. I sent out a survey asking friends all across the nation asking about how the Long Island stereotype figures at their schools: from Boston to St. Louis to New Orleans to Wisconsin. Below, find all the results, tallied up and mostly verbatim.

One friend even wrote that “it says a lot that a ‘Long Island’ at Libe Café is a non-fat, sugar-free, vanilla latte.”

There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of these stereotypes. I want to make that absolutely clear. There is nothing wrong with having your own gender identity or cultural identity or religious identity or — yes — regional identity. But make it your own individual identity, and certainly don’t be snobby about it. The paradox is that Long Island is defined by its conformity and its citizens’ rigid adherence to that conformity. This manifests itself in terms of how Long Islanders speak, act, congregate, dress and do.

The reason for this empirically-researched, disclaimer-strewn, diplomatically-toned column (a friend just came into my room and told me that it was “too pussy”) is because I feel like, here, a peacemaker in a war-torn world. The battlefield is Cornell and college campuses nationwide, and the dueling parties are Long Island vs. Non-Long Island, or “The Haters.” In a skit called “The Friend Nobody Likes,” Dane Cook remarks that “There’s always that one person [in every group of friends that nobody likes]. I’m looking out [in the audience] and some of you are like, ‘mmm, I disagree,”…well.. you’re the person!...you are the person nobody likes..”Responses

At this point, if you are still denying this all-too-often-ignored feud of the ages, well, most likely, you are the person…! You are the Long Islander that people describe in facebook groups such as “You know your from Long Island when…” We’re known for our spectacular public school education, yet we still don’t know how to spell “you’re”). Even though this grammatically-incorrect group was started by a UPenn student, the last line is still “You know your from Long Island when your sick of all the haters at Cornell!!!” For further proof of this war, how about the group “I Want To Bomb Long Island”?

Let’s own up to our Long Island pasts before moving on to a brighter future. I’ll start. 1) When I was 17, I was featured in a news article on the cover of the Long Island Section of the New York Times profiling teenage spa use. 2) I once went to a Kate Spade opening at the Americana mall. 3) I still call Manhattan “the city.” Your turn. Long Islanders or honorary Long Islanders, write down the top three attributes you are guilty of below. Haters, who even want to bomb Long Island, write down the top three things that bother you the most. For suggestions, you can refer to the aforementioned websites.

1. _____________

2. _____________

3. _____________

Now breathe for a second, and let’s move on. Freshmen and freshwomen, particularly Long Islanders, the best way to break this stereotype (and have the best four years possible) is to branch out and befriend people who have never met a Jew before, have never heard of the word “JAP” outside of the context of World War II movies from the ’50, and — gasp — don’t even know where Long Island is. I wrote this column out of love … and serious concern. It seems that recently, the new Sun Columnists have been hating on Cornell. Cornell (and Ithaca especially) for me, though, has represented such a drastic, welcome and revitalizing departure from the world that I come from. Cornell is so much more — can be so much more — than a mini Long Island. Spread out. Develop your own paths. And then together, let’s work on converting our sugar-free, skim, vanilla latte-ness into … well, something bold and refreshing for once.

Ariela Rutkin-Becker is a senior in the College of Arts and Sciences. She can be reached at arutkinbecker@cornellsun.com. Her column will appear alternate Tuesdays this semester.