As most of you likely know, over the last decade or so, Cornell, like most other colleges and universities, has been virtually obsessed with rankings. And it is now my pleasure to report that with the introduction of this year’s lists, Cornell finally has taken over the number one spot.

No, no. Not in U.S. News and World Report. According to that rag we’re number 12. ::Yawn::

I’m also not talking about Newsweek’s recent report which said that Cornell is the “hottest” Ivy. Whatever that means.

I’m talking about Motto Magazine’s rankings. And, like I said, Cornell came in first place.

In case you’re new here (which, if you are reading this today, you likely are), Cornell’s motto is as follows:

“I would found an institution where any person can find instruction in any study.”

You know, come to think of it, that IS a nice motto. Very noble, eloquently said, and it leaves a bit to the imagination — doesn’t it seem like a bit of an incomplete thought? (“I would found an institution where any person can find instruction in any study, but …”) Well, I guess that’s part of its charm. Or, maybe because this year coincides with Ezra Cornell’s 200th birthday, U.S. News thought it would throw his brainchild a bone.

Regardless, this brings up some interesting questions: Does Cornell live up to its motto? Does it need to? Do other schools live up to theirs? Why do schools have mottos anyway?

Let’s take these questions in the order presented, shall we?

Q: Does Cornell live up to its motto?

A: Don’t think so.

Can any person study here? No, I am quite certain that the admissions office rejected thousands of people just this past spring.

Assuming that any person could study here, could they find instruction in any study? No. Suffice it to say, I am sure that there is SOMETHING that Cornell professors can’t teach.

Q: Is Cornell obligated to live up to its motto?

A: Not really.

First, who is going to hold Cornell to it? Students are still going to want to study here, professors are still going to want to teach here. No one is going to force Cornell to admit a student or create a department.

Second, the motto is completely unrealistic. It seems clear that giving instruction to any person in any study may have been a goal of Mr. Cornell’s but not likely one that he ever expected to actually reach. What’s important is the ideal of giving people who would not be able to receive an education anywhere else (at the time, likely women and minorities), the opportunity to get an education, and the ability to offer education in a wide variety of subjects.

Q: Do other schools live up to their mottos?

A: Let’s run down the other nine schools on Motto’s list:

2. Brown: “In God we hope”

3. Wellesley: “Not to be ministered unto, but to minister”

4. Stanford: “The wind of freedom blows”

5. University of Pennsylvania: “Laws without morals are useless”

6. Seton Hall: “Whatever risk, yet go forward”

7. Dartmouth: “A voice of one crying out in the wilderness”

8. Carnegie-Mellon: “My heart is in the work”

9. Clark Atlanta: “I’ll find a way or make one”

10. Brigham Young: “Enter to learn, go forth to serve”

Don’t these seem fundamentally different from Cornell’s motto? Whereas Cornell’s actually sets out a goal for what the institution is supposed to do, these other mottos are really just ideals that the school is supposed to stand for.

So, I think the answer is probably yes, other schools do live up to their mottos, but frankly, it probably isn’t all that difficult for them to do so.

Q: Why do schools have mottos anyway?

A: Probably so that the faculty, staff and students have a principle to look toward in their day-to-day activities.

That said, Dartmouth’s, for example, really doesn’t serve that purpose at all.

And frankly, Cornell’s really doesn’t either. When you think about it, “Any person . . . any study” really comes off as more of an advertising statement than a motto. Once you’re here, do you really care that the school supposedly offers education to any person in any study? Probably not, because you are you, and you have chosen what you want to study already.

I guess the take away from all of this is the fact that rankings have exploded to the point of ridiculousness. The Princeton Review already ranks schools on pretty much every conceivable dimension (like food, athletic facilities, parties, etc.) and Motto magazine appears to be trying to pick up the slack.

Isn’t it time that students (and faculty and staff, for that matter) get comfortable in their own skin, so that they need not have silly magazines telling them that their school is better than another in some inconsequential way?

From the looks of this summer, I suppose that time hasn’t arrived just yet.

Eric Finkelstein ’06 is a former Sun managing editor and is currently a second-year student in the Law School. He can be contacted at ejf33@cornell.edu. Saturdays Excepted will appear alternate Mondays this semester.