Girl (correcting guy’s grammar in a paper): You throw around commas like one dollar bills at a strip show.

— Thurston Ave

Awkward Dude (to friend): It’s so much fun to be in the men’s locker room with a bunch of naked guys. (Awkward silence.) Maybe I shouldn’t have used the word “fun”; it’s interesting. It’s a whole different ... dynamic.

— Outside Helen Newman

Amazed Patron at Synapsis: They donated the entire medical school, and now this?!

— Weill Hall

Clean-cut Girl: I don’t like rubbing it the right way!

— Uris

Guy 1: Yo, did you see those breast cancer shirts?

Guy 2: Yeah, what of it?

Guy 1: I liked the “Save Second Base” one.

Guy 2: What’s “second base?”

Guy 1: (pause, then laughter)

Guy 2: Dude, don’t look at me like that and then laugh. It’s a legit question —

Guy 1: You don’t know what second base is?!

Guy 2: Yo, I know the bases are sexual innuendos. Like, I know first base and home base, but not the intermediates!

— Olin Hall

Sorority Girl: Like, how much smaller do you get when the baby comes out?

—Trillium

Drunk Girl: I’m so confused gravitationally.

— North Campus

Freshman Girl to Friend: I just don’t understand it! There are 1500 boys in the entering freshman class and not a single one will have sex with me!

Friend: Well, have you asked them all?

— Appel Commons

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