In a recent interview, writer and director Diablo Cody said that without Juno, she could have never convinced the studio to finance Jennifer’s Body: She needed that success in order to make a movie that was too ridiculous and seemed too risky for a first feature. Unfortunately, it turns out that the film was just too abysmal to merit being produced in the first place.

Certainly a movie built around the sexiest woman in the world, as voted by FHM (Megan Fox), should be entertaining. But Jennifer’s Body is as much of a tease as its title. The film is a pure marketing ploy — what reason is there to see it other than Megan Fox? — but with an abnormally weak script by Cody, coupled with Fox’s less than passable acting, it even fails to be so bad that it’s actually good.

The movie centers around Jennifer and Needy (Amanda Seyfried), who are polar opposites, yet have been best friends since childhood. When Jennifer drags Needy to see an indie band at a local bar, a fire destroys the place. Jennifer leaves with the band members, who are actually Satan worshippers and plan to use her as a virgin sacrifice. When their plan backfires because she (surprise!) isn’t a virgin, a demon possesses her body. Returning to Needy’s house to throw up black goo, she arrives in school the next day in perfect condition — except for her thirst for teenage boys.

Jennifer’s Body is in the vein of horror / comedy classics such as The Evil Dead and Shaun of the Dead, but miserably pales in comparison. Not only is the film not scary in the slightest, it is also incredibly stupid (as opposed to stupid-funny). Cody’s dialogue is mostly to blame. Some jokes are so terrible that it’s difficult to tell if Megan Fox’s sub-par acting is ruining them or if they’re just poorly written. Lines like “I’m getting a wetty” and “Ow, my tit” are supposed to encourage laughter. Asking, “Can I have a tampon?” after being stabbed is another winner.

OK, judging from those lines, the film is obviously not meant to be taken seriously. However, the trademark quirkiness and heart that made Cody’s Juno and T.V. series The United States of Tara so enjoyable is sorely missed. Through the high school setting, Cody has the opportunity to poke fun at its cliques and popular culture with her distinctive eccentricity, but she never fully fleshes these ideas out. The goth guy who blasts the rock-goes-pop version of “I Can See Clearly Now” falls flat, and J.K. Simmons (the dad from Juno) is underused as a dry English teacher.

The lack of a backbone also degrades the film to a mere Megan Fox vehicle. It’s a shame when you judge a film by the attractiveness of its main character, but the movie has no other redeeming qualities by which to judge it. Indeed, Megan is looking as hot as ever. But for a film called Jennifer’s Body, you don’t see much of it. With the exception of a make-out scene between Jennifer and Needy randomly placed to please viewers, it’s all tease without any payoff. Jennifer’s “feeding frenzy” is reduced to a lean body count of three. Needy plays a more prominent role in the plot, and it’s a pity that her writing is just as terrible, because Seyfried is a perfectly capable actress.

Maybe I’m being too hard on Megan — but I enjoy movies with at least a little substance (mostly from a strong script) which the film is severely lacking. The Fox simply can’t save an already hopeless film. For now, I’ll stick to looking fondly at her poster that hangs near my pillow before I go to sleep every night.