Slipping Tipper the Tongue

It goes without saying that conventions are, generally, four days of propaganda during which catch phrases are drummed into voter's ears ("Stay out the Bushes," courtesy of Jesse Jackson at the Democratic Convention in L.A., was my personal favorite) and the contents of all our nation's Party City warehouses are magically poured from ceilings in hopes of stirring up enthusiasm for presidential candidates.

Conventions are, in a way, debutante balls, serving the purpose of presenting each candidate to the people as a persona to which voters will relate and be attracted. George W. Bush's people knew what they had to do: Create an image of a man as compassionate as George W. has promised to be, and thus they set out to make him appear as the laid-back, harmonious, token white guy smack dab in the middle of a Benetton ad.

But Al Gore's people had a different task at hand: They had to reinvent the vice president. They had to turn him from robot into man.

Democrats made many good and somewhat successful attempts to do this. Tommy Lee Jones testified that Al Gore -- his old college buddy and best friend ever since -- really is a cool guy. Al's bubbly and sometimes nervous daughters took the stage and gushed about their family man. Even Spike Jonze helped the cause -- he made an endearing video about Al that was unfortunately aired on only the second night of the convention and was (due to poor strategy) replaced by a more generic video in the time immediately preceding Gore's acceptance speech.

And, of course, we cannot overlook Al's own personal attempts to appeal to his audience as a human. In his speech last Thursday, he admitted to being a less-than-exciting politician and owned up to his so-called vices of being too serious and substantive. But he asked voters to view these qualities as positives rather than negatives, as proof that he will work hard and stand up for his researched and well thought-out beliefs.

But Al's pants were still worn a little too high and his tone remained a bit too monotonous. He is still unable to finesse like Clinton and he has yet to pull out a sax. He would have been dangerously close to losing his battle against stiffness if it weren't for The Kiss.

The Kiss took place after Tipper Gore finished introducing her husband on the last night of the convention. He entered from the floor, doling out high five's and making his way up onto the stage. He briskly approached his wife and then, It took place.

It was long, It was passionate, It was straight out of a steamy Danielle Steel novel and, for just a second, Al could have been mistaken for Fabio (minus the waist-long blonde locks).

It definitely included tongue.

In fact, upon viewing The Kiss, I was momentarily reminded of a scene from The Wedding Singer in which the characters discuss how much tongue should be used in a wedding at a church. They pondered, what is the appropriate amount of Church Tongue? Let's just say that Al and Tipper pushed the boundaries of Convention Tongue.

The next day, the press couldn't stop talking about The Kiss. In this writer's opinion, the Kiss was significant for two reasons. The first is the obvious: It made Al seem like a regular guy, maybe even a passionate guy, who actually did sometimes let loose, despite the fact that he walks around looking like he forgot to take his shirt off the hanger. The Kiss reminded people that Al Gore is not just a walking dissertation on Global Warming, but that he's also someone who can be fun, someone who is sometimes spontaneous, and, yes, someone who even has sex.

The second reason The Kiss scored points is that the country is weary of a president and first lady whose relationship is so seemingly business-like and so obviously posed. The Clintons' marriage has been a topic of criticism and negative assumptions and speculation for years. Is it just an arrangement? Were they ever really in love? How refreshing it would be to see a couple in the White House who still have genuine romance, who remain affectionate and true to their high school sweetheart status.

With The Kiss, Al Gore became more than a highly intelligent, informed, and experienced candidate; he became a passionate, and thus likeable, human being.

Regardless of the reasons behind it, people really got a kick out of The Kiss. Slipping Tipper the tongue did more than any line in a speech for Al Gore's image. Perhaps he should consider copping a feel before the first televised debate.

Archived article by Danielle Stein