Last time, on South Park (this is my of reminding you that this week’s episode was a superhero sequel) … there were some lovely jokes about double penetration and how BP is ravaging the Earth … Coon attempted to join the world’s greatest heroes into one group, Coon and Friends … Captain Hindsight weighed in … BP unlocked a portal (to another, evil dimension) … the Dark Lord, Cthulhu, has plunged the world into three thousand years of darkness and only Mysterion can save us (who is Mysterion!?)! Hint, hint. You find out who it is, and it's exactly who you would expect.

South Park’s playa’, Mysterion, begins the show in obvious fashion, monologue-ing to the beat of The Dark Knight.  “I have joined forces with other superheroes in my neighborhood to help save the gulf, but even the other heroes do not know that, unlike them, I do have a power. I power they will now begin to understand, and all will know who and what I am.”

Still calling themselves Coon and Friends (just to piss Cartman off), the boys of South Park make great strives to solve the problems in the gulf – they sell lemon bars (one of my favorites) in front of their local grocery store.  They find themselves dealing with the disciples of the Great Cthulhu – people using big, made-up words that I can’t actually spell in this blog (so yes, exactly like a bad superhero movie).

In the meantime, Cartman makes his way to New Orleans to solve the problem himself, only to find himself overshadowed by the local efforts of his former group – Cartman takes himself pretty seriously, you know.  Perhaps, that what he was thinking when he confronted Cthulhu … perhaps, not.

"Though I am a superhero and you are a dark god from another dimension, perhaps we can work together. I know how to feels to want to take over the world and want everyone else to be your slave.”

The Coon just wanted the dark lord to vanquish his former friends because “they are fucking assholes and they all deserve to be sent into a dark oblivion.” However, he did not impress the Cthulhu – a giant sea monster – who just retreated back into the gulf.

Coon and Friends return to their “secret” base in the Coon’s basement (just to piss Cartman off) to find that Captain Hindsight, “the hero of the modern age,” had mistakenly mixed vodka and Jack together the night before (been there, done that).   Hindsight demanded the pictures of him with Courtney Love (actually Butters) – you remember them – Cartman used them to blackmail Hindsight out of the superhero business in last week’s episode.

Mysterion confronts the drunken Hindsight, who is sick of his power – “Do you have any idea what a curse it is to have perfect 20/20 hindsight? As soon as something bad happens, I immediately know how it could have been avoided.”

Mysterion tells him about a truly overwhelming power – “Let me tell you something about curses, butt-licker.”

Mysterion apparently can’t die; when it happens, sometimes he sees heaven and hell.  But he always comes back the next day, and no one even remembers – oh! Shit! It is Kenny! Mysterion is fucking Kenny!

And Kenny’s parents are disciples of Cthulhu! And Clyde is The Mosquito! (wait! That’s not that important, but I’m doing a thing with exclamation points and revelations!) Anyway, yes, Kenny’s parents lead Mysterion to the cult of Cthulhu (who apparently offer free beer at their meetings – they would do great on campus! Actually, they sound a lot like a frat).

Cartman discovers that “convincing a giant creature from another dimension to do what you want is no easy task,” and he does befriend the dark lord by rubbing his giant belly. In fact, Cartman calls a press conference to announce the merger of Coon and Cthulhu under the unifying name, Coon and Friends.  Their relationship is like the one between that boy and that flying, monster, wolf thing in The Neverending Story – I seriously never saw it! But I know my pop culture!

The other heros investigate the cult, which includes (prepare yourselves from South Park trivia references) the shop-class teacher, those two geeky computer guys, and the goth kids.  And then, they said more fancy words that I cannot spell in this blog. Sorry.

Mysterion confronts the goth kids, who reveal that “Cthulhu is going to get rid of all the posers and make everything cool and black and stuff. It’s gonna be like a Nine Inch Nails concert that goes on forever.”

The cult guys kill Kenny, who wakes up the next morning in bed.

The saga continues next week I guess … just like The Neverending Story.