Cancer (June 21 — July 22): While there will be cause for celebration this week, watch out for a chance of riots. We don't need another Spain-wins-the-World-Cup outbreak now, do we?

Leo (July 22 — August 22): You'll be getting a present from a special someone this week — but don't think that they'll be getting you that chemistry set you asked for. They read Arsenic and Old Lace, so they know how that story ends.

Virgo (August 23 — September 22): This week, you'll be feeling like the ultimate wingman. Yes, it can get stressful, but when times get tough, just use the, "Have you met [insert name here]?" and then run like Neil Patrick Harris!

Libra (September 22 — October 22): A presentation that you were planning on this week will not go as planned. It will be a lot like that time you auditioned for Annie in elementary school: a complete disaster.  

Scorpio (October 23 — November 21): This week, you'll be someone's superhero and not even know it. Batman never got any thanks in the films, so why do you expect any? 

Sagittarius (November 22 — December 21): This week, you will finally find your rhythm. Sadly, this is from a parrot so you will continue to dance by bobbing your head up and down while sliding. 

Capricorn (December 22 — January 19): Lately, you think that you've been on top of your game. But watch out for potholes! Those pizzas won't deliver themselves. 

Aquarius (January 20 — February 18): This week, you may be on top of a new trend. Everyone, everywhere, will be doing the "Avoiding." This will include avoiding eye contact, obligations and people in general. 

Pisces (February 19 — March 20): Lately, you've been skeptical of someone's intentions. This week, they'll step out into the light and will be exposed, but whether you be there to cover up their — literally— naked self is your choice. 

Aries (March 21 — April 19): This week, you will feel the connection that you have been trying to keep alive. Electrocution and all injuries aside, at least you finally got that light bulb to shine.

Taurus (April 20 — May 20): Lately, you have been finding yourself oogling over images of family and friends. Stop scrolling through your old iPhotos and go take some new ones.

Gemini (May 21 — June 20): You may think you're a poet and maybe not even know it — but Sarah Palin is no Shakespere and neither are you.  RLD