Better Stick to Calculus

          Gluten-Free Girl: I'm allergic to pasta.

          Math Wiz: I didn't know pasta was something you could be allergic to … it's dry! 

          — Malott Hall 

Catering To Student Needs at All Hours of the Night

          Discussing decision to replace some of Blue Light's CUPD escorts with less-intimidating local residents:

          S.A. Rep.: So, we're working really hard on getting local escorts for students. 

          Audience Member: Wow, poor choice of phrasing. 

          — Straight Memorial Room 

It Practically Undoes Itself!

          Silly Sorority Girl: I used to have my hook-up shirt and it was foolproof.

          Friend: Oh yeah, what did it look like?

          SSG: Well, it was strapless and fell down all the time …

          — Eddy Street

Rocking Out (With Your Beer or Vodka Out)

          Miffed Musician: Climbers have their own type of beer?! Well, so do singers. It's called vodka.

          — Keeton House 

Screwed if You Do, Screwed if You Don’t

          Insecure Girl: If I study with him he's gonna think I wanna have sex with him!! 

          — Collegetown

Getting to the Center of a Tootsie Pop

          Flamboyant Fellow: But then he said, "Okay, I’ll just lick it," but that didn’t work.

          — Tower Road

Stereotypical Outlier

          Junior Gal with Chopsticks: Can I have a spoon? I’m a bad Asian!

          — Miyake’s

Weapon or Wardrobe Item?

          Hotelie Chick: I’m not gonna fight a naked girl for her pillow!

          — Allentown, PA

Picking Hickeys and Concealing Wedgies

          Cornellian: She confuses the words for wedgie and hickey; one day she told me, "Whenever (my boyfriend) gives me a wedgie, I just cover it up with a scarf."

          — West Campus Dining Hall