It’s Never Sunny in Ithaca

Dear Cornell Professors, we understand that it’s beautiful outside. Please stop reminding us of this when we’re stuck inside a three hour lecture, preparing for a three hour prelim that you assigned us before Spring Break. You’re not on the Weather Channel! And if you do feel the need to mention it one more time, I’m walking out of class to enjoy the weather you are advertising more then American Idol advertises Coke. 

— A.M.

Reader Resentment

What is it with all these professors all of a sudden mandating “Reader Responses” — otherwise known as the bane of my existence? I went into this semester realizing one thing: I was not going to do a single reading for any class. Circumstances have since forced me to reevaluate that decision, as these godforsaken “responses” now require me to at least glance at one page of the readings — enough for bullshitting purposes. 

— A.K.B.

Straight Up G

I hate when you’re just trying to slam a few brewskis, but some clearly inferior opponent keeps trying to rap battle you and make a name off your fame. These wack rappers be like beef to me, I cook and slay ‘em ya dig? Holla.

– B.D.

Missin’ Lost

How’s ABC not going to put Lost On-Demand. I just want to get home, chillax and watch me some Jack and Kate, but I can’t. Instead I have to watch it at a desk on my little computer screen. I can’t even lay down. To quote 95 percent of the characters on Lost, “Noooooooo!”

— T.M.

Sun Anger

Can we really not get a proper mouse in the AE’s office down here? It’s bad enough that there’s a quarter-inch of of dust on all the desks. I blame D.W. though, not my glorious predecessor S.P.

— A.E.

The Gangs Gets Fashionable

It’s just the worst when you’ve been sewing for five days straight and all you want to do is go home, change your clothes (because your picture was in the paper on Monday, and everyone knows you’re still wearing the same thing) and sleep for 24 hours. But instead, you stay in the studio (because CDL is Saturday, 7 p.m. at Barton, be there) and take a quick 10 minute nap in between fittings, and you wake up to a photographer taking your picture for the candid slideshow. IDEAL. 

— I.L.

Chatty Cathy

You know what really grinds my gears, walking past someone you know on campus. Does anyone ever really know how to greet each other? There’s the stop and talk for good friends, the head nod for acquaintances, the awkward wave and everything in between. Sometimes you slow down to chat, but have to speed up again, when you realize the other person wasn’t planning on stopping. Sometimes someone says hello to you, but you don’t realize it until it’s too late and walk right past them. Other times, you have to turn that wave into a reach for your cell phone. C’mon, let’s get some standardized system for this.

— B.E.