EYES ON THE PRIZE

Fun-Loving Girl: It’s a drinking game, not a winning game!

—North Campus

AGRI-CULTURE

Clown-Like Boy: [To person he’s walking with.] Ah hey, it’s my whole dorm!

CLB: [To group.] Hey what’s up?

CLB: [To the person he’s walking with.] Oh, I guess CALS people speak a different language too.

— North Campus

A QUANDARY FOR KITTENS

Operations Research Professor: This wouldn’t be tested on an exam, but if you are feeling a bit frisky try this puzzle.

— Engineering Quad

VIKINGS ARE AWESOME

Junior Boy: I’m so excited — next semester I’m taking “Vikings, Ikea and Sex!”

Friend: What?

Junior Boy: “Scandinavian Culture!”

— Bartels Hall

WHY THEY CALL IT A MASTERS DEGREE

Sorority Girl: After hooking up with grad students I just can’t hook up with undergraduates anymore.

— Collegetown

BERATE MY PROFESSOR

Cornell Professor: If you’re gonna attack the faculty, you might as well do it properly. Cause you’re gonna get taken down anyway.

— Ag Quad

SLIPPERY SLOPE

Daddy’s Girl: My dad had to wipe the lube off the tip.

— Thurston Ave.

FLU FEVER

Girl 1: Last night when I was piggybacking Ezra [putting the face mask on the statue of Ezra Cornell] ...

Girl 2: That must be how he got the swine flu!

— Arts Quad