A Bite out of Biodiversity

Guy: (eating bag of animal crackers) Why are there so many rhinos in here? I thought those fuckers were endangered.

— Engineering Quad

Virtual Experts or Virtually Experts?


Boy: Of course we should consult an expert before we try anything. It was just something I saw on the Internet.

— Cocktail Lounge at 5 a.m.

Do It Like They Do On the Discovery Channel

Girl: Dolphins have the most beautiful way of having sex. They spin around so gracefully! Our sex is not beautiful. Why can’t we be more like dolphins?

— CTB

The Anatomy of Stupidity

Girl: (on cell phone) Hahahaha — oh my god, I’m so sorry I didn’t think you were serious? I know you dropped out of school, but didn’t your mother or a friend or SOMEONE at least explain to you that you aren’t supposed to have your period during a pregnancy? (pause) That’s how most people realize they’re probably pregnant … when they don’t have their period. (pause) Okay, yeah, I’ll explain all the details but before I do I’ve gotta ask — after almost fifteen years of bleeding every month for, like, a week, it never occurred to you to question why that was happening? (pause) Okay, well for starters, do you know what a uterus is? Wow … are you really sure you’re ready to be having a baby when you don’t even know where it is in you? (pause) No! It is NOT in your stomach! I don’t even know where to start now …

— RPCC