Sunday marks one of my favorite food holidays of the year, the Super Bowl. It confuses me every year that Thanksgiving is applauded as superior to this epic holiday, because comparatively the food is so much better. Plus, on Thanksgiving you have to make awkward conversation with your perpetually single uncle. On Sunday, all you have to do is fight for a seat on the couch and stay quiet during the commercials.

On Thanksgiving, one must get dressed up in his or her finest and wait around all day while the turkey cooks, the potatoes are mashed, and the stuffing is combined. The wait is endless as you try to kill time watching the Macy’s Day Parade (the best part of Thanksgiving).

On Super Bowl Sunday, however, you can head to Wegman’s in sweatpants and buy almost everything you need. It’s much easier to wait to eat the food when it’s in a bag and the aroma is not exacerbating your hunger.

On Thanksgiving, you eat a well-balanced meal of vegetables, carbohydrates and meat — just like every other day of the year. You just eat a lot more of these staples on this particular day.

On Super Bowl Sunday, though, the only vegetable you need is the celery which goes with your meat (Buffalo wings), and everything else is a delicious carbohydrate. While this may sound toxic to your poor body, it’s just one day, so everyone gets an exception.

Thanksgiving presents a wide array of desserts, including my personal favorite, pecan pie; but you can’t enjoy them until you’ve eaten the obligatory turkey, potatoes, green beans, stuffing and cranberries — limiting space available for the good stuff.

This Sunday, all of the most unhealthy food is presented simultaneously, which is perfect for allowing equal stomach space for wings, chips, nachos, mozzarella sticks, chicken fingers, chex mix and pigs in a blanket.

Can’t you just feel your arteries clogging? Sigh, feels great doesn’t it?

The Super Bowl is just as American as Thanksgiving, if not more so. But sadly, with the current obesity epidemic in this country, all the foods I just listed are far more representative of America than turkey and mixed greens.

So enjoy Sunday, and eat all your deep-fried favorites, but make sure to stock up on your greens this Saturday.