Nature vs. Nurture

Boy 1: What do you do when you have a crush on someone who’s gay?

Boy 2: Yeah, I know, it’s not like you can wait for the gay to go away.

— Donlon

Driving Ambitions

Male Engineer: You know, deep down I really just want to be a bus driver. You have so much power!

— Engineering Quad

Two Times a Lady

Girl 1: ... Yeah, but he’s kind of a man whore.

Girl 2: Yea ... [pause] ... I’ve slept with him...

Girl 1: Really? ... [pause] ... me, too.

Girl 2: Twice.

— Delta Chi

Math Dept. Overtime

Boy: It did snow yeserday.

Girl: I counted five snowflakes. Jason counted six.

Boy: Well he’s taller so he could see the ones higher up.

— Olin Hall

The First to Cast a Stone

Girl: You can’t throw a rock at Cornell without hitting an Orthodox Jew.

Boy: Why would you want to throw a rock at a Jew?

— Oakenshields

Mer-slut

Girl: The little mermaid is a slut. She walks around on the beach, like, completely naked with crabs.

— Outside MVR