Lunchtime at Statler’s Terrace Restaurant makes my world go ‘round, and I know I am not alone in my infatuation. Apart from its unfailing ability to satisfy Cornell students’ gustatory pleasures, the Terrace dining room serves uncannily well as a sociopolitical map. As the daytime place to see and be seen, its function as a social barometer must not be overlooked. This “cafeteria-style restaurant” is the reason many of us make it to class in the first place.

Terrace diners are guaranteed to see more people we know in a given lunch break than throughout the course of an entire afternoon, and we inexplicably anticipate eating the exact same meal most every day of every week. Somehow, we have yet to get enough Terrace. However, it is much more than the buffalo chicken wraps that make lunch at Terrace the phenomenon that it is. It goes far beyond the super cute salad-shaking mechanism that amazes us all each time. Whether for the food or the company, eating at Terrace is a part of each day we students cherish — perhaps a bit too much. But what is it that keeps us coming back for more … and more, and more?

Mindless eating, perpetual schmoozing and valiant efforts to be seen characterize the time warp that is lunchtime at Terrace. As you sit watching new diners enter and finished diners leave, however, you may realize how slowly you have managed to finish your own meal. After all, how can you be expected to find any time to eat your food when you have greeted a third of the people you know on campus, twice, before even sitting down to eat your own lunch?

For a Terrace groupie, the term “lunch hour” takes on a whole new meaning. Whether you arrive after class at 11 a.m. or one p.m., it is unlikely that the lunch scene will clear much before three in the afternoon. A decent lunch at Terrace is at least a two-hour commitment. For the most loyal of Terrace-goers, lunch is a virtually interminable period of time. The alluring pull of each hour at Terrace makes the choice between an Econ section and another round of sweet potato fries an easy one. After all, why head out for a group meeting or Mann study session when you could wait around for the next shift of diners?

While you semi-watch those around you in your socializing, self-monitoring, chewing-and-swallowing state, the underlying truth is that everyone is simply far too engorged in the deliciousness of their meals to really care what you’re doing. So, what are we stuffing our faces with that keeps us coming back?

While it may take nearly twenty minutes to get what takes twenty seconds to create, there is little that makes diet-obsessed Cornell girls happier than a Terrace salad. However, in the time you find yourself waiting in line to eat, you realize you could have just as easily walked to Trillium and back … or grown your own head of lettuce. You must also arrange yourself in line so as to ensure that you end up with your favorite salad preparer. While some artisans of the salad bar give you too much lettuce, only a select few will give you the amount of crunchy noodles you deserve. And while you may fear each day that feta cheese will be removed from the “specials” board, it won’t, ever — I kid you not.

While satisfied herbivores begin their quest to find a table, they find that their wrap-eating counterparts are already half-done with lunch. Inexplicably, this line has moved four times faster than the others. Of the more adventurous sort, the wrap-eating type seeks a heartier lunch — one goppy enough to be felt in the pit of your stomach for hours to come.

When in dire need of some nourishment (i.e. enough calories to feed a small child for three days), or simply for sustenance after a hearty night of drinking, this is the route to take. While the meaty filling may be indistinguishable by its name on the daily menu, Terrace wrap fans will agree that it doesn’t really matter. Critics may debate the legality of eating something larger than your head, but wrap enthusiasts are not deterred. As such, it is probably no coincidence that we Cornell students are not known for our striking physiques. The only real wrap issue? The suspiciously high price tag on extra guacamole.

As for the other stuff at Terrace? Quite simply, it doesn’t matter. Have you ever eaten a burger at Terrace, much less seen anyone else do so? There are only two Terrace lines of any real consequence: salads and wraps.

As bright as we all may be, we continue to repeat these inane behaviors day in and day out. Waiting interminably for the same meal we ate yesterday and the day before? Picking just the right staff person to construct our meal, while being unable to distinguish what’s being put into it? The truth is, we love Terrace. While we may feel low for our lack of productivity while hanging in Manndible, watching our peers in their studiousness, there’s simply no need to do so at Terrace when everyone around you is being just as useless as you are. Essentially, the Terrace dining room provides asylum from the chaos of our student lives: good friends, good food and a fabulous waste of time.