Cornell may be an Ivy League University, but as the “hottest” of the eight, we as students are obligated to party like rock stars. Thus, given the boot from Collegetown bars an hour past midnight, it is no wonder students have taken it upon themselves to establish what has been informally titled College Avenue “after hours.” College Avenue after hours can be defined as the collective attempt of tireless students to figure out what to do next.

In the event that you, Eclipse reader, are unsure of the phenomenon to which I refer, check out College Avenue just a few minutes past 1 a.m. on a Saturday night. Masses of unruly Cornellians can be found lingering, loitering and lurking between the doors of Collegetown Bagels and Pizza. A simple vodka tonic (or three) seems to have granted students the ability to consume more pizza, dodge more TCATs and flirt with more strangers than ever considered possible. And the reason behind the shenanigans? These kids simply aren’t ready to call it a night, and the after hours game is all about strategy. So here are a few ways to ensure that closing time doesn’t rain on your evening parade.

Do dress to impress. Decked out as if roaming New York City’s West Village, determined partiers gather in hopes of figuring out what to do with themselves. For others who have not gone out that night, or those whose trusty fake IDs have failed them, after hours also serves as an opportunity to “make,” or at least salvage, an otherwise lame evening. Consequently, smart students chat up their peers in hopes of getting invited somewhere to continue their night on the town. I’d advise doing the same.

Don’t say anything you’ll regret in the morning. This is a time when awkward conversations are bound to ensue and good-intentioned interactions often turn sour. Your ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend was a high school C-lister? Telling her so won't bring her back. That kid from class you didn’t think had a social life? You weren’t supposed to tell him that. Amid the uncomfortable and futile attempts at witty banter, however, are those few whose schmoozing skills seem to have done them some good. You should probably follow their example.

You may notice that these exemplary few rarely end the night alone. If they could help it, most single college students would not go home on a Saturday night unaccompanied. Thus, after hours can also serve as a speed-dating contest. The duo lovingly wandering down Catherine you never knew was a couple? Blame (or thank) the Heineken. The freshman-senior match up about to go down in the middle of College Avenue? It was probably that eleventh-hour SoCo shot. If you follow the rules of the game, this too could be you.

When the excitement of running into acquaintances on the street subsides and the late night Cornell chill begins to set in, it is high time for a snack. Though it’s a tough choice between Collegetown Bagels and Collegetown Pizza, someone with you will ultimately decide they are simply dying for a chicken and broccoli slice or a chocolate chip muffin top. Once this happens, your attempts at dietary restraint will probably vanish. Refuse to order, but pray that somebody has ordered a large pie, and feel free to linger eagerly around a cramped table in hopes of grabbing a slice. Or, alternatively, try waiting for an intoxicated friend to forget about her turkey wrap before gorging with all your might. Though your body may hate you in the morning, you will quickly learn that there is nothing more satisfying than a late night binge.

Ultimately, the College Avenue excitement will die down and it will be time for you to make a choice. You might be weary and full, but your inner party animal will be pushing you to go on. Do you still have the energy to start up a Beirut game? Play some Guitar Hero? Watch an episode of Planet Earth? Only the strong will survive. Try as you might, there comes a point in the wee hours of the morning when your inner party animal must surrender.

By the time you have hailed down someone else’s cab, all you can do is pray that you are the first stop of the many on the driver’s agenda. Inevitably, though, you will always be last. Mid-morning, you will finally make it home. Stuffed and sore-footed, Cornell’s party-goers can at last call it a night. Though Sunday morning impends like a dark cloud overhead, another Johnny O’s Tuesday is but three days away.

And so, Cornell party animals, you’ve got no excuses. You now know how to conquer closing time and keep your night going well past one a.m.