Grudge Match and Stump the Sun now alternate every other week in Eclipse. Catch the videocast of this week’s Grudge Match at eclipse.cornellsun.com. Contact eclipse@cornellsun.com if you would like to be featured on Grudge Match and debate a member of the Sun’s Sports staff. This week’s Grudge Match is between Sun Assistant Sports Editor Harrison Sanford and Sun Senior Editor Michael Mix. They are debating whether or not Big Red is a good name for an athletic team. The highlights of the conversation are transcribed below.

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Mix : Harrison, I don’t have a problem with this name at all. We’ve had this name forever, fans like it, everyone loves it. There is no problem with Big Red.

Sanford : It’s a terrible name, it’s a terrible name. What is the Red? It’s not a tiger, it’s not an animal. It’s not —

Mix : Do you know how many teams have the name tiger? Do you know how many teams have the name wildcat? It’s so trite.

Sanford: Okay, we could be the Cornell Entrepreneurs or something, we could be the Cornell CEOs, we could be something. Something … a color?

Mix: What? RPI is the Engineers and everyone makes fun of them. You want to be the Entrepreneurs?

Sanford: I’d rather be somebody than a color.

Mix: What’s wrong with a color?

Sanford: Do you get scared by a color by any chance? Do you see red and start shaking?

Mix: Do you get scared by a gamecock? South Carolina’s the Gamecocks. Everyone in the University walks around with a cock on their hat.

Sanford: Okay, they’re not scary. The Gamecocks are not scary, but at least they’re something.

Mix: So what? Everybody has all these stupid names — the Duke Blue Devils, what’s a Blue Devil?

Sanford: At least they can dress up. What can we dress up in? In red?

Mix: We’re a bear. What’s wrong with a bear?

Sanford: What does red have to do with a bear? What’s a bear? How’d we get a bear?

Mix: What’s a blue devil? Don’t you know your Cornell history? There was a live bear that came onto the field at touchdown. It’s our mascot — touchdown, the bear.

Sanford: You’re well versed in your Cornell sports.

Mix: I am. I came prepped for this debate.

Sanford: That was a good point.

Mix: Also, our name is not offensive to anybody. There are tons of names across the country that are offensive to many different racial groups. We’re not offensive to anyone, unless someone is colorblind.

Sanford: So you’re happy with the Red? You’re really happy with the Red?

Mix: Do you not like the Crimson? Do you not like the Big Green?

Sanford: Do you like the fact that when we play hockey people they throw big red sticks at us, gum?

Mix: Awww. We say, “Poop is Brown.” That’s worse.

Sanford: Exactly — they’re brown. Brown gets ridiculed because they’re a color.

Mix: Yeah, so what?

Sanford: It’s the same thing with us. It’s stupid. I don’t want to get ridiculed because I’m a color.

Mix: Any name is going to get made fun of.

Sanford: I’d rather be an engineer … a hotelie, something.

Mix: Do you want to be the eighth team in the county with the name Wildcats? And get confused with Kentucky and Arizona?

Sanford: Give me like, I don’t know, I see a lot of deers and squirrels in Ithaca. I’d rather be a deer or a squirrel.

Mix: The Cornell Deer. The Cornell Deer.

Sanford: It’s something scary. We can’t even be like the Cornell Americans?

Mix: No, you’re wrong.