This past August, McDonald’s teamed up with GM to give away 42 million toy Hummers, in eight models and colors, inside every Happy Meal. The “Hummer of a Summer” promotion included television and radio ads which featured a happy family riding in a Hummer on their way to a McDonald’s.

McDonald’s and Hummer (General Motors) have both been criticized heavily and often for their lack of concern for the well-being of people, the environment and our world. Potentially trying to exploit or capitalize upon the overlapping values, and thus, overlapping target market of both products, the “Hummer of a Summer” campaign was born (girls had the choice of receiving Polly Pocket in their Happy Meals).

So, are McDonald’s and Hummer fit for a marriage in advertising? Let’s break them down one by one to find out if this pitch is more of a one-night stand in Ad Land, or, if this could potentially be a match made in Mercantile Heaven.

McDonald’s. McDonald’s is like your mom. She has been feeding you with a smile for as long as you can remember. At the end of your meal, you usually get a sweet goodie and sometimes there are even toys!

So what’s the gripe with mommy? You’ve heard most of the complaints: McDonald’s foods aren’t healthy and contribute to obesity. McDonald’s is responsible for the slaughtering of millions of cows and chickens each year. They aim unhealthy foods at their target of young children and their packaging practices are linked to ecological damage in many parts of the world.

Mommy, I thought you loved me.

I have no problem with a company that makes a lawful product that, when consumed, could result in deleterious health effects. Why? Because consumers can choose. But I have to put my foot down when a company says that their product can be part of a healthy lifestyle when it unquestionably cannot.

McDonald’s desperately claims that their foods can fit into a well-balanced American diet. According to McDonald’s.com, the Big Mac Value Meal (Big Mac, large fries, large soda) provides 1,450 calories, 61 total grams of fat (94 percent daily value), 16 grams of saturated fat (82 percent daily value), 9 grams of trans fat and 1.36 grams of sodium. A Big Mac Value Meal will fit into a well-balanced diet only if, for the rest of the day, we stuck strictly to fruits and vegetables. I don’t think McDonald’s customers are too likely to stick to broccoli and carrot sticks for the rest of the day. But I could be wrong.

What about those 9 grams of trans fats? Dietary trans fats have been attributed to an increased risk of heart attack and stroke, and a group of Harvard nutritionists state that, on a per-calorie basis, trans fat is three times more dangerous than saturated fat when it comes to risk of coronary heart disease.

A study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that at a New York City McDonald’s, a large fries and chicken nuggets combo contained 10.2 grams of trans fat, compared to 0.33 grams in Denmark and about 3 grams in Spain for the same meal. McDonald’s explains that local taste preferences dictate which oils they use, when in fact most people are not able to tell a difference taste-wise. The cost to switch to lower trans fat oils in the United States would be just a few cents and could easily be passed down to the consumer. I guess though, in a way, the cost is already being passed down to the consumer.

Mommy, I thought we had something.

Hummer. Hummer is like your daddy. He’s big and strong. He makes you feel safe. And sometimes, he has a lot of gas.

So what’s the objection with Daddy? Hummer’s less-than-stellar gas mileage, terrible emissions, roadhogging and big and bad-ness symbolize everything that is American individuality and status, and this aggravates some people. Thanks to the Energy Policy Act, individuals who purchase Hummers (or any other SUV weighing more than 6,000 pounds) for small business or to use on a farm are eligible for a hefty tax deduction, provided that they use their vehicle more than 50 percent of the time for their business. How much? The qualified buyer of a H2 Hummer (Price: $50,000 to $60,000) can take an immediate deduction of $24,000. Robin Hood would be so pissed.

I could go on about related issues, such as our dependency on foreign oil, global warming, how a crash with an SUV is 3.5 times more likely to be fatal, etc. But instead, I’d like to let Hummer describe themselves through a series of advertisements they have released in the past few months.

In one recent Hummer commercial, a man is at the checkout line in a supermarket buying organic tofu. Meanwhile, the guy behind him is stacking up racks of steaks and BBQ fixings. Mr. Tofu looks a bit insecure, and suddenly notices an ad for the Hummer H3 SUV. In a series of quick shots, he exits the supermarket, goes to the Hummer dealership, buys the H3 and drives off, looking a bit manlier now. “Restore your Manhood” reads the tag line.

Is Hummer finally admitting that those who drive their vehicles are doing so as a compensatory mechanism, perhaps because they have small … egos?

Daddy, is there something we need to talk about? Am I gonna have a small [ego] when I grow up too?

The “Summer of Hummer” marriage ended on August 31st (remember, most marriages in the United States don’t last). For some, the combination of McDonald’s and Hummer was annoying but harmless, and epitomized American excess and over-consumption. But for those of us who would rather not have to choose between being fat and being obnoxious, this marriage was written in the stars.

Behzad Varamini is a graduate student in Nutritional Sciences. He can be reached at bv29@cornell.edu. Gain Through Loss appears alternate Wednesdays.