Ahhh, Slope Day. The joyous day in which Orpheus with his lyre and Dionysus with his wine bless the Cornell community and bring us all to the Slope to join hands and celebrate the end of classes. Slope Day is an event so intrinsic to Cornellians that it is easy to forget that friends from other universities and first-year Cornellians may not be well-versed in its traditions. So I've gathered pearls of wisdom from Slope Day veterans and assembled five tips that will make your Slope Day the celebration that it should be.

1. Abide by the unofficial schedule. Sure, the Slope Day Steering Committee lists actual times for the opening of the Slope and the performances of each musical guest, but most Cornellians follow a tested-and-true schedule to ensure the maximum hours of fun. A good night's sleep on Thursday is essential for the day that is to come. Next, wake up bright and early. While classes are optional, a hearty breakfast with friends is imperative: you'll need the food for energy and stamina. Throughout the morning, make sure you pace yourself. You don't want to be that guy (or that girl) who passes out on the Slope from either exhaustion or inebriation and lies in a huddled lump on the grass. Even though in your state of unconsciousness you might not notice 10,000 people stepping over you, death by trampling is not part of the schedule. After the final performer, slowly retreat from the Slope in unison with the sun, warmth and masses to your abode and immediately fall into a deep, prolonged nap. Around nine at night (don't forget to set your alarm!), emerge from your slumber and meet up for dinner with friends, during which you will attempt the three R's: recharge your energy, retrace your whereabouts of the day and remember what the hell happened. Continue celebrating at parties throughout the night.

2. Thank the Slope Day volunteers. It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it and over 500 Cornellians step up to the task each and every year. They are the members of the aptly named S.O.S., a subcommittee of the Slope Day Programming Board that coordinates volunteers and which has spent hours throughout the year preparing for the big event. Anyone who's been to at least one Slope Day knows that anything can happen, and so these valiant volunteers are prepared to be Renaissance men and women on Slope Day. They dish out more water than the excessively exuberant Viking woman in the Aquafina commercial. They act as bouncers, ousting non-CU ID holders from the Slope with more gusto than the bouncers at Johnny O's. And, as is unfortunately necessary, they are also capable of establishing an impromptu triage system: ("Body number one needs a coherent friend. Body number two needs water. Body number three needs EMS - stat.") Sure, these Mother Theresas of the Slope will be rewarded with raffle prizes and automatic admission into heaven for their selflessness, but we can also show our appreciation by being as courteous as possible on the Slope.

3. Be an enthusiastic fan. Alright, Ben Folds isn't my idea of the perfect Slope Day headliner, either. But that doesn't mean that we need to boo poor Ben as a result of our dissatisfaction with the Steering Committee's choice. After all, Snoop's a tough act to follow. So, on Slope Day, let's show Ben some respect and enjoy his performance without bemoaning what could have been. (That means we have three more days to listen to "Don't Stop Believin," and envision, with a wistful smile on our faces, Journey performing on our very own Libe Slope.)

4. Don't be an overenthusiastic fan. Last year, a few Cornell females were invited to party with Snoop and his crew at their hotel. Although Snoop was not present, the man in the green velour hat (the member of Snoop's entourage that was gyrating awkwardly on the stage) was not only in attendance, but overly hospitable, reassuring one woman that he would take her to Snoop. After leading her to a private room, he took off his hat, poured her a drink and pulled out a blunt. "It was at that point that I realized that the man in the green hat was not nearly as young, lively or cool as he appeared to be when he was on stage. When he began to sweet talk me, I realized that the fame was not worth it and I ran back to my friends," the woman shares. Although a similar scenario seems less likely to arise this year (little boy Ben seems a little too straight-edged to have such friends), just remember that the stage temporarily masks sketch factor.

5. Take advantage of the perks. Other colleges have similar annual celebrations like Slope Day, but I doubt their student clubs unite together to provide such terrific incentives as do Cornell's organizations. Don't want to take a wallet with you? Student Assembly, the Greek governing councils and the Residential Student Community get into the spirit of the day, buying food vouchers and distributing them for free to students in Collegetown, Greek houses and dorms, respectively. Looking for fun activities to start your morning? Slopefest, the day-long celebration on Ho Plaza, features free contests and giveaways.

By keeping those five tips in mind, your Slope Day is sure to be a success. I'll end this column, my last of the year, with a final piece of advice. Each year, I rediscover at the end of the day how much mud can accumulate on one's feet after dancing for hours on a grassy Slope that has been churned up by 20,000 feet. While you might have enjoyed every minute of it, your Kate Spades (or Miu Mius, BCBGs, Choos, etc.) surely won't. So leave the cute shoes at home: flip-flops are the official footwear of Slope Day.

Carrie Bodner is a junior in the College of Arts and Sciences. She can be contacted at cjb56@cornell.edu. In My (Kate Spade) Shoes appeared alternate Mondays.

Archived article by Carrie Bodner