Oy Vey

I know Mann Library is a wet dream of architecture and design nerds everywhere, but who decided that the stairs should be so thin? They’re big enough for approximately 1.3 people, or maybe two crackheads. And when I’m trying to find a study spot at 2 a.m., the last thing I want is to have to awkwardly squeeze past another crackhead.

— KW

Moan

In Yiddish, dank is the opposite of kvetch, and means “thanks.” Dank to Cornell for holding the first week of classes during Inauguration. Once I got past being bitter at not being able to go to inauguration and having school on MLK Day, I was able to see the positive side of things: not having two of my five classes this week because of Inauguration. So dank Cornell for keeping me in Ithaca while my profs woop it up in DC.

— JM

Both of my parents called me today. Not because they were concerned about their daughter, wanting to tell her how bursting with pride they are at my mere existence. They wanted to talk about the weather. “Oh, it’s an uncomfortable 80 degrees here, sun shining, not a cloud in the sky ... How’s it there?”

Very funny, Dad.