The Preacher's Daughter recounts her first voyage on the sexual high seas.

Taking a girl's V-card can be tricky business, here's some cardinal rules to follow in navigating these never-been-sailed-on waters.

Let’s get autobiographical:

(In the beginning.)

Unlike many of my brethren (sistren?), the first time I read the Torah wasn’t until the year after my Bat Mitzvah. A friend convinced me to do it. I was against it, only because I felt the act would negate my First Time. Friend made a good point: “Why do you feel like everything that comes after your first time [reading Torah] needs to be less? What if the introduction is a sort of anti-climactic stepping stone, and everything that comes after is better, or bigger?”

In the ultimate conflation of the virgin-whore dichotomy, a 22-year-old Sacramento State grad named Natalie Dylan has put her virginity up for auction. The transaction is taking place through a legal brothel in Nevada, which advertises Dylan’s virginity as a “priceless and rare commodity.” And by “priceless” they actually just mean expensive — the highest bid is reported at $3.8 million. Dylan was first publicized on the Howard Stern Show, and the story has since been picked up by CNN and other major news outlets.