Halloween at Cornell is a pretty terrifying thing. I’m pretty sure that over the course of the weekend, I danced with exactly two naked girls, 16 Lady Gagas and one very drunk, very enormous and very velvet penis.

But it doesn’t take a decked out holiday and copious amounts of alc … candy … to scare me on this campus. In fact, I’ve got a pretty long list of fears that pop up all year round.

When you were a kid, what did you do during Halloween? You were probably in a cute or scary costume, telling ghost stories with a flashlight and, best of all, going from door-to-door to get free candy. There was something both frightening and magical in the night air.

Now that you’re all grown up, what do you do on Halloween? You’re probably going to dress up in a skanky or stupid costume (or not dress up at all), take too many shots and, worst of all, black out by chugging too many Keystone Lights. Well, I guess things change when you grow up, and you just have to go along with it. But the true spirit of Halloween — the imagination and the magic you experienced as a child — has vanished.