‘Tis the season. No, I’m not horribly confused. Despite the fact that I still have a wreath on my front door, I am well aware that it’s not Christmas. No, no, my dears. I’m talking V-Day.

If I were an incredibly lazy columnist, I would write an extremely generic article on how I have always been single on Valentine’s Day, how I contemplate killing every hand-holding couple on campus this time of year and how my only comfort this season is the free chocolate my Valentine (read: my mom) sent me.