I’d like to talk about the poor emphasis higher education has placed on math and science. Before you write this off as another economics column a la mode Thomas Friedman, hear this: I’m leaving the economy out of this one, and instead I’m going to try and convince you merely that your classic liberal arts education has failed you intellectually. Sound good? No comparing paychecks, no “useful” versus “non-useful” or “hard” versus “easy.” We’re keeping this above the belt and speaking solely of intellectual merit. Alright let’s get started.

A moment of silence —

due deference to the memory of the first two programs made martyrs in the name of cost-cutting, budget shortfall and the new “E” in education — not endowment, emergency or extra copies of former-president Lehman’s new book in the presidential suite in Day Hall, but Economy.

As the German Studies Department shuffles sadly off the platform with the remains of its Swedish and Dutch language programs — don’t forget to take those two staff jobs with you — and the hooded henchman of the administration sharpens the axe on a Redbud stump, who is the next in line for the cutting board? Viticulture, landscape architecture, American studies? Your major?