Yes, And Lettuce That's Not Lettuce

Girl: Hi. Okay, so, I would like a sandwich, but do you have wheat bread that is not bread?

-Trillium

Houston, We Have A Problem

Girl 1:The night was so great. Then it just went downhill.

Girl 2: Yeah, it was so good and then it just skyrocketed.

End-of-semester eavesdroppings include everything from pirates to strippers.

Snippets of conversation heard at Cornell.

Some of the tidbits of conversation Cornellians had this week.

Stoners say the silliest things!

One-Rack Mind

Dude (watching The Other Boleyn Girl): Scarlett Johansson from the back is useless.

— The Teahouse

Not Cookie Monster

Instead of studying for prelims before Spring Break, check out what other Cornellians have been overhearing about aliens, animals and everything in between!

Blow Me!

Professor: If you blow, you suck.

— MAE 323 Fluids class

Not the Sharpest Tool on the Team

Male Athlete: So what do you have to get on your SATs if you’re like ... not an athlete?

Girl: Um ... [awkward silence]

— Ho Plaza

Engineers Get Their Kicks

Male Engineer: I will kick him so hard, one day he will have to analyze my kick with Matlab to fully understand it.

— Hollister Hall

Neighborly Love

Neighbor (discussing neighbors): Alls they do is curse and threaten to divorce each other.

Neighbors (shouting): What the f***?! F*** you!!!

— Collegetown

Double Penetration

Guy 1: Dude, we gotta get some D.P.!

All Greek to Me

Girl 1: Like, I know the name of our sorority, duh, but I just don't know what these symbols represent. Why are they on our handbags?

Girl 2: Maybe it has something to do with our philanthropy shit.

—Ho Plaza

Practice Makes Perfect

Boy 1: I'll be right back, I just have to change my pants.

Boy 2: Oh, rehearsal was that good, was it?

—Lincoln Hall

Math for Dummies

Boy 1: What’s the title of that book? Vector Calgules? Who’s Victor Calgules?

Boy 2: Calculus, it’s vector calculus you idiot.

—Central Campus

Anti-Tourism