Prominent TV commercial actor and occasional swimmer Michael Phelps publicly apologized Sunday for smoking weed. Phelps was compelled to apologize not because he ripped his first bowl and felt just oh-so awful afterwards, but because some British newspaper published a photo of him smoking out of a bong. As it turns out, weed-smoking swimmers — at least unapologetic ones — lack the ability to sell inappropriate beachwear to old, fat Europeans.