In the spirit of the musical genius Pink, Florencia Ulloa '11 gives an emphatic toast in her end of semester column.

Sandie Cheng '12 offers 10 life lessons for readers to ponder.

Graduating senior Shaun Werbelow questions the virtues of going directly to law school.

Sandie Cheng '12 remedies her anxiety about the future by taking inspiration from someone who chose to follow his dreams.

Vicente Gonzalez '11 discusses the revelations he's come to since a near-fatal boating accident that happened last weekend.

Grad student Ben Koffel prepares Cornell's soon-to-be graduates for their impending quarter-life crises.

Sandie Cheng '12 considers how her life aligns with Julia Roberts'.

Well, Cornell, I’m stuck with another welcome back article. And while I wish I could give you a cheerier piece of news, I’m afraid that we’re returning to more study, with a chance of sun, oh, I’d say never.

That being said, I do rather like the opportunity to welcome you back to Dreary Ville, USA. Population: wool coats in April and rain boots forever.

I met her at a rest stop in Blandford, Mass. this past Sunday. I was standing in front of a wall of snack food at the gift shop when I saw her slowly pacing through the adjoining Sbarro’s, squinting through her glasses at the grease-soaked pizzas on display.

I went numb.

I’d caught just a glimpse of her, out of the corner of my eye no less, but I knew it was her instantly. It was a sub-conscious recognition, as if I’d already memorized her every dimension, as if hours of television exposure allowed me to keep a mental blueprint of each of her distinguishing traits.

You can picture it, I’m sure: It is 2 a.m. My body is a tightly coiled slinky of stresserosity, ready to go springing out of my house, roll down the hill and into Beebe Lake. My hair is a frizzy mess, my eyeballs are bugging out at all sides and I have a Jason Segel-sized bowl of soymilk and entire box of Life cereal (think: Forgetting Sarah Marshall), two cooling cups of coffee, a beer and a pack of cigarettes in front of me. I am a crazed person. I qualify for a straightjacket.

I have a paper due.