Hello, darling readers and newbies:

Once upon a time, I had a column. Then, during the 6-week-long, Daily Sun hell known as editorial compet, I took a really long break. Now I’m back. Didn’t-cha just miss me?

For those of you who haven’t experienced the pain/plea-sure/antipathy that is my column, allow me to re-introduce myself: I’m Julie. I’m that annoying white girl with the curly hair, blasting Three 6 Mafia and Kate Nash from my car while the rest of you cool souls are probably walking along to Nas, Talib and (I hope to God not) Katy Perry.