Either things have been especially HEROIC for Cornellians recently, or our reporters are having trouble tracking down the VILLAINOUS stories. But never fear, cynics and sadists, while the headlines now may provide a dearth of VILLAINS to complain about, in no time at all these tales of HEROES and their fruitful adventures will undoubtedly fall back into the realm of controversy and outrage.

Those creepy old people milling around Collegetown can only mean one thing: HEROIC Homecoming weekend.

H&V valiantly returns with riffs on heat, hot dogs and all other sorts of wieners.

We’ve just rubbed our bodies down with aloe to sooth our burns after soaking in the HEROIC sun all day on the slope. It feels so, so good to be burned to a crisp after months in VILLAINOUS hibernation. Now, in light of the Sun, we couldn’t be happier to say that we’re done for the semester with rocking fake tans and unnecessary sunglasses. The Sun’s shining and we’re crossing our fingers that it’s here to stay. Nothing makes us happier here at HEROES & VILLAINS than sunshine and sangria and we’re proud to say that we’re ready for more.

It’s been one heck of a week for us at H&V. While outside the birds were chirping and the sun was shining, things here at the batcave are heating up as usual. People are angry. They’re waving flags and throwing shoes and passing resolutions to stop resolutions to pass moratoriums … does that make sense to you? Yeah, us neither.

It’s a dark, VILLIANOUS, humid night in the Commons. But perched in our ivy-coated brick fortress, The Sun editors are having a typical (read: debauched) Thursday night behind their computer monitors, red pens and broken printers. And yes, we’re playing beer pong. And yes, you guessed it, we started a frat (Sigma Upsilon Nu). After all, who wouldn’t after this week, the frattiest of the year at Cornell by far. Both Panhel and IFC HEROICALLY elected their new exec boards, and we’re psyched to start a new era right along with the rest of the VILLIANOUSLY rush-crazed (dry or wet, we don’t care) Greek community. P.S., sorry if we messed up your scrap book — we feel your pain — we at Sigma Upsilon Nu scrapbook too, let’s compare at tea time?

Something happened this week. We know because of all the screaming. The drunk/crazy/happy people were out in full force Tuesday night to celebrate the election of Barack Obama as the 44th president of the United States. Good times, we say, and good luck to the heir of a country in shambles. Maybe you should ask for a higher salary.