Corey Brezak '11 eagerly anticipated the day when he turned 21 so he could enter the Collegetown bar scene. He was sorely disappointed.

Graduation is swiftly approaching, and some people are scrambling to complete the list of 161 things to do before you graduate. While I never sought to complete the list, in close to four years in Ithaca, it’s pretty easy to get a lot done. What’s more important, frankly, is to amass a list of things not to do during your time at Cornell. And so I’ve compiled such a list — a list of things I will absolutely not do again, and that I would recommend you avoid as well. Thus, here it is: a list of things not to do in Ithaca before you graduate, or after you graduate, or really ever at all, from an old and experienced senior.

Dilemma: someone recognized me from my column this past weekend. And it wasn’t just any loyal reader that recognized me. Oh no. It was one of my classroom crushes.

Now do not feign innocence, gentle reader, when I talk about classroom crushes. After an extensive bout of strenuous polling (of my four housemates), I have determined that I am not alone in my brief infatuations with complete strangers. And by the transitive property, this means that you know damn well what I’m referring to when I say classroom crushes.

What the F? I’m gone for spring break for five days and Facebook is completely different? Just in case I wasn’t already having enough trouble keeping track of people’s birthdays, it goes ahead and moves the few buttons left that I knew how to use without even giving me fair warning. It took me a good 20 minutes of stalking to figure out that people were updating their Facebook statuses rather than writing all over their own walls. It would be one thing if these changes had some useful function for me — like if they were to add a “Remove Unsightly Pimple in Default Pic” button — that’s something I could understand. But, with these seemingly arbitrary and certainly confusing changes, I can’t help but wonder: Why, Mark Zuckerberg? Why?