It’s official: climate cynicism is the new global warming. That’s right folks, you heard it here first. We are witnessing the biggest cultural shift since Jake Gyllenhaal made the cowboy hat queer.

What is climate cynicism, you ask? Well, like political cynicism, it involves rejecting any facts, data or expert opinions on an important issue facing our global society, and attributing all debate to partisan bickering. It’s a lot like the healthcare debate, only replace “evil money grubbing HMOs” with “Carbon Dioxide,” and “pinko-commie liberal congressman” with “Nobel laureates.”

Science, like economics, is a matter of opinion and thus best left to all those senators who don’t run around Ivy League Universities flaunting their PhDs.